1st of Glade, 121
Continued from here
Just like that, the words were out. He couldn't take them back, even if he wanted to. It didn't feel right to let one of the thoughts that were so far buried under his skin see the light of day. He felt vulnerable, weak before the Velsign as if he'd granted them some power over him. "...Ar-" The Velsign caught himself, then lifted a gauntlet to rest on the Rathor's shoulder. "-Derek," the man spoke in a correction. "Come on, you know that's not true."
"It's true," the rath choked, and swallowed hard to dislodge the feeling in his throat. "Liu, Cojack, Mannon, Taelian," he spoke in a list; names cemented on his brain, burned into his eyelids. "They're all gone... hell, I don't even know if the last two are okay or if they just left... I-"
"-Mannon and Taelian?" Az asked, uncertain. Of course, the Velsign knew who Cojack and Liu were, Arkash had cried about them enough over the time they'd grown to know one another.
Arkash offered a careful nod, then wiped at the tan complexion of his cheeks and sighed a breath. "Mannon's an old friend of mine; came here from Tyrclaid. I've known her eight years," he went on to explain with a shake of his head. "Taelian's the one who gave me my eye and arm back, you know, the ebonknight I told you about?"
The ex-ebonknight furrowed his brow. "...You love these people?" he quizzed, uncertain.
A shake of his head and a shrug soon followed the question. "I mean... Yeah, I think so," he spoke with a sniffle and wiped at his eye. Did Asmodei doubt him? Did he not trust Arkash?
"...You're not sure?" The Velsign returned the moment he picked up on that hesitation. He knew Arkash was unlearned in inter-personal relationships. "What about them do you love?"
The 'guised rathor stared a moment, then scoffed with a shake of his head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when you love someone, it's easy to imagine all the things about them that make your heart waver... In my case, Fayeth..." The false knight exhaled and laid back against the bench. "I close my eyes and I see the flow of her hair in the seconds it takes her to close the gap with her mark, the glisten of her skin, painted in the lifeblood of her foes. I can see her eyes, and all the storms they've weathered over the years, deeper than that, I see her strength, wisdom, and resolve. I can't think of a woman that even remotely compares to her..." he went on to explain, and Arkash furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. Asmodei liked to see his wife spattered in gore? The false knight lifted his arm to rest on Arkash's shoulder, and he exhaled. "I'd die for that woman," he spoke without hesitation, then looked to Arkash expectantly. "Your turn, young man."
While Arkash couldn't see Fayeth even remotely like Asmodei did, he couldn't deny that she was strong. The talk wasn't about her though, it was about him and his supposed loves. "Well..." he started while he thought, and considered what he could say. "They're... They were both nice to me," He spoke at last. Did he admire their strength? No, not really. If anything, seeing how strong Taelian was only annoyed him and reminded him of his own inferiority. In Mannon's case, he was envious of her magic. Their wisdom? No, he didn't like it when people were smarter than him. What of their resolve? It wasn't something that really came to mind with either of them.
"...Just that they're nice?" Asmodei asked with a furrow to his brow.
Arkash knew the implications of that question, and what came next. "No, that's not it," he assured, but even so, he couldn't think. Did he really think about either of their looks, their refined disposition, or their clothes? No, nothing about their appearance really affected how he felt about them. Did he only like them because they were nice to him? Did he not know what it meant to truly love someone?
"Derek," the Velsign started and shook his head. "It's nothing to be ashamed about, you..." he paused to suck in through his teeth, then exhaled. "...You're not well-versed in the complexities of the heart, you've told Fayeth and me of your sheltered childhood. It's natural that you don't understand how things like this work."
Arkash lowered his body to rest his elbows on his knees and pressed his fingers to his temples. "What are you trying to say...?" he spoke with a sigh. "Is it not enough that seeing them made me happy? That they took up my thoughts so much that they were the first things I thought of waking up in the morning and before going to sleep?" He bared his teeth as he looked at the Velsign. "Does the fact that I miss them mean Nothing?"
As the rath became defensive and insecure, the Velsign gently pulled on his shoulder to set him up straight. "...I'm just trying to help, Ar- Derek. I don't want you getting manipulated," he explained. "I mean it when I say that you can't trust anyone here, least of all an ebonknight... Have you seen him since... Well, since you were cursed?"
Arkash looked at his clawless fingers then and flexed the digits. "...No, I haven't," he confessed and shook his head. "He wouldn't care though, he said he loves me." To that, the Velsign pursed his lips hard and raised his brow. Arkash furrowed his own and quirked them as he looked at the taller male. "What?"
"Arkash... The people involved with that revolution are brainwashed. They hate the curse like nothing else, killing the cursed is their entire reason for existing. They're famished, they feel no empathy, joy, or love. He wouldn't hesitate if he knew."
The rathor shook his head and laughed a scoff. Taelian would kill him? Unlikely. He didn't believe Asmodei at all. "You don't know that," he spoke simply, then looked away from the Velsign and peered to the Wrog as it was brought back over to them. Promptly, Arkash stood and brushed himself off.
"...Sorry, am I interrupting?" The man asked as he looked between the false Argent and the Lustrian both.
"No, it's okay. What do I owe you for the medicine?" Despite his assurance that nothing was wrong, Asmodei watched him with a glare.
"Well, that's the thing," the Vet spoke with a turn of his hand as he handed over the lead. "There's nothing wrong with him. I've checked everything I can think of and he appears to be healthy. You said he vomited?" Arkash furrowed his brow, then nodded. "I don't suppose you know what he's being fed, do you?"
"...Vegetable mulch mostly, you know, like lettuce, tomatoes, potatoes... Oh!" He Exclaimed in realization, then produced the bag of beetles he'd been carrying on his person. At once, the Wrog lifted its snout to the purse and squealed happily as though it was about to receive a treat. "I fed it some of these. Is that okay?"
"Rabe's beak, no!" The vet declared with one look at the bag.
"...It's not?"
"No! Blister beetles are poisonous. Where did you even manage to gather that many?" Arkash bared his teeth at the news. They were plentiful in the sewers, but it made sense that he shouldn't have been feeding the Wrog something that lived in such an environment. "If you're trying to give him treats, then I recommend cheese. Wrogon are fond of the stuff; the more mature, the better," he explained.
Arkash nodded then. So it was his fault that the pig was getting sick. Sorrow reflected in his eyes, and he gently scratched the beast's coarse skin with his stubby fingernails. From there, prices were discussed, and Arkash paid the man a solid five-thousand farthings for the advice and the check-up and proceeded into the streets with the pig in tow. Asmodei followed, and Arkash looked at the Velsign expectantly. No doubt, the older man wanted to rub it in that he was right and Arkash was wrong. "Go ahead, say it," Arkash spoke as they traversed the snow-covered streets.
"I think it's best that you either avoid this Taelian, or keep your curse from him," the false knight spoke with a shake of his head as he broke off to the side of the street. Asmodei couldn't access the gate to Lower Nivenhain, he had to take the sewers, he recognized. "I understand you feel strongly, but you're not safe with him, Arkash," The Velsign explained and crossed his arms.
Arkash lowered his gaze and sighed. "Alright," he agreed with a lie. "You're right, I'm just a fucking idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about." He fully intended to see Taelian again if he could, but Asmodei had to think he was taking the news hard.
"Derek... You're not stupid, just inexperienced," he spoke in assurance. After a pause, he turned away and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but you'll find someone that's right for you someday," he promised. "You shouldn't be afraid to grow attached to others though," he spoke with a glance at the Wrog, then smiled. "He seems attached to you, after all. I think he's trustworthy."
Arkash looked between the two as the Velsign moved deeper into the alley, then returned his gaze to the pig before he sighed and left for the streets. The pig, he supposed, had no power to leave him. And he was plenty strong enough to protect it, he believed. So what was the harm in treating it with more affection? What was the harm in growing attached? Then again, who was he kidding? He already dotted over the beast.
On his way back to the gate, he passed by the Thompson estate. The brothers hadn't really left his mind since he saw Alec and Chad in the morning. The idea of running into them terrified him to a degree that was similar to running into hollows. But if Brodie was killed by his bite, then he had nothing to worry about. On another level, part of him wished to confront them after everything was said and done. he wanted to make it known that they were ultimately inconsequential and that he'd grown and healed from their torture and bullying. He'd be lying if the thought of exacting revenge didn't cross his mind, too.
With a head full of mixed thoughts, he turned away and proceeded down the street of haughty, stuck-up Rien citizens. "...Maybe I'll call you Thompson," spilled one of his thoughts aloud and looked to the pig while he walked. The beast happily squealed as it often did, and Arkash came to smile a bit. "...Maybe Brodie," he thought deeper, then shook his head.
