Hakon Plays House

[Hakon]

52nd Glade 4619

Hakon was hard-pressed to think of a time he'd ever felt happier. Sure, his mission had in some ways been a failure and he would almost certainly be subjected to a lecture or a flogging, but he was unconcerned about that at present. He'd found Ajax, and any such punishment would be worth it.

They'd stayed in the cabin until he could walk with minimal assistance, which had taken two days. Ajax had helped him the entire time, cooking for him, letting the warrior lean on him to get to the stream so he could bathe, and even doing his laundry. When they weren't talking, they were kissing, or doings far more explicit. Ajax seemed to enjoy doing those early and often, and Hakon was only too happy to comply, though at this point his thighs were a bit sore from their activities.

When they reached the Tower, Ajax dismounted from his place behind Hakon and then helped him down.

"Appreciate the help, Squire," Hakon said with a grin.

It was a joke, but it really was a bit necessary, still. His ankle needed to be seen by a healer. It was taking far too long to heal, and the initial period of tenderness and swelling had not improved much past the first day he'd had the injury. He could walk ably and manage a shaky run for short distances, but then his ankle would swell up and he had to rest. Doing any of the more athletic maneuvers that were customary for him was out of the question at this time. In that way, he would have been relieved that Ajax had stuck by him even if the lad didn't make his heart fill with music.

Hakon handed off the reins to the stable boy.

"Welcome to Vesterhal," he said to Ajax with a little smile. He didn't know much of the world, but he was quite fond of the tower.

To him, it was one of the best places in the world. The tower, stark and severe on the outside with its barred windows and fortified walls, contained a sharp, ascetic beauty that he appreciated. He wondered if Ajax would see it that way. This was a boy who was used to Lord's tables and the finer things. It occurred to Hakon that the plain garments and threadbare blankets he favored may not be very impressive to such a boy. Hopefully, their mutual regard for one another would allow Ajax to overlook such things.

With their horse boarded and being properly taken care of for the first time since Hakon had gotten seriously injured, the mage explained what had to happen next to his young charge: "I need to bathe, change, and then provide a report to the Warden. He will be disappointed that I did not return with a Sunderscrap, but heartened that I rescued you. My hope is that on balance, he is pleased and I am not punished in an overly harsh matter."

Hakon had been practicing the lies that he was going to tell. In truth, he had sundered Alecto, but at some point during being injured, it must have become separated from his Sundering kit. He and Ajax had looked everywhere for it, but hadn't found it. After they'd spent the better part of the morning doing so, Ajax had recommended that they give up in deference to Hakon's hurt ankle, and Hakon had agreed. It was so strange, and not at all like him to lose such an important possession. It was also not at all like him to lie about its existence to his superiors, but Ajax had a point: why tell the truth and get punished for losing something when he could simply tell a modified version of the truth: he had prioritized saving Ajax over Sundering. It was true, he had done that; it would have been easier to just kill everyone than it had been to save Ajax from his kidnappers and pick them off one by one, but that would have been barbaric and had gone against his core orders, besides. So rather than reporting that he lost Alecto's sunderscrap, Hakon would simply report that in order to keep Ajax safe, there wasn't time to Sunder anyone.

The idea of telling a lie like this, even a harmless one, made his heart hammer in his chest, but it made sense when Ajax had proposed it, and part of Hakon was darkly fascinated by the prospect of lying to his superior. He wondered how often people attempted to cover up their mistakes this way. It had never occurred to him to do so before. Ajax was teaching him all kinds of new things. He looked at the lad fondly, and gave him a clap on the shoulder before heading toward his chambers with Ajax in tow.

[Andros]

Ajax shouldn’t have been there. He didn’t really want to come. Hakon just had this way about him. Hakon said that he needed Ajax’s help getting to the tower, which was true, and Ajax certainly owed him that. Then he announced that Ajax would stay two nights with him. Ajax refused but Hakon just replied “nonsense,” dismissed his lame excuses as such, and eventually got frustrated and tossed him into bed.

That’s usually Ajax’s trick, accomplished with a wiggle and a wink and not a pair of strong arms, but apparently it works on Ajax too because he didn’t say a word against the plan again. Hakon was handling him, for lack of a better word. Ajax found himself a little scared of the man, but a little hooked on him at the same time.

There was the added drama of the sunderstone, too. He couldn’t really let the poor man be flogged for his crime, though part of him wouldn’t mind seeing it. No, he intended to help Hakon sell the lie they had worked out, and if that failed he’d fess up and run like hell. At least that was the plan.

Arriving at the tower, Ajax questioned the wisdom of his plan and cursed himself for being cajoled into coming along. The place was a dump. It gave him the willies. A prison, not a place fit to live, and Ajax was a man who slept routinely in barns and who found the smell of sheep shit made him homesick. Cold, drab, no decoration, small corridors and bare stone walls. It was like all the bad parts of Hakon grew into a building. Too dour, too serious, and without Hakon’s redeeming factors, which were, to be fair, significant. (At this point in his reflection, Ajax lost his train of thought and found himself rubbing Hakon’s right bicep for no particular reason).

More than anything, inside the tower could hear his father’s voice in his memory, warning him that the Guild locked up innocent people for a lifetime and was to be avoided. And even more so, the Scarlet Watch was a band of dangerous fanatics who had pursued Fell to the ends of the earth, to be feared. And here he was, walking of his own accord into a Guild tower full of watchmen.

Hakon seemed nervous as they waited to meet the warden, which made Ajax nervous in turn. What could intimidate a man who faced down a cannibal monster with bat wings? By the time the two were ushered into his office, Ajax was downright frightened. The warden’s manner helped nothing. He found he was shaking a little and wished he could take Hakon’s hand.

The warden accepted Hakon’s story without too many questions, saying they would discuss it shortly in private. Then, when Ajax expected to be dismissed, the warden instead began to interrogate him. Not just about the fight - which he wasn’t a reliable witness for anyway due to his state of mind - but about his life and background.

That meant a lot of lying on his feet. He prefers to simply obfuscate rather than tell a direct falsehood that can be checked, but the warden was too direct for that. He didn’t know if the warden would hold his father’s crimes against him and he didn’t intend to find out. So he lied about his background, made up a last name, and gave himself a false backstory, all to hide the fact that he was from Teos and had noble blood. There can’t be many nobles from Radenor who were suspected to have disappeared in Teos. Others in Radenor knew his true identity of course, but the Scarlet Watch would not find out while he was in their clutches. If he could help it.

When the Warden finally dismissed him, he went out in the hall to wait Hakon. That’s when the yelling started. He couldn’t make out every word but it was clear Hakon was being dressed down and threatened a bit. That helped nothing. Hakon seemed a lot less like a hero when he was being berated by his asshole boss. Ajax felt drained, disappointed, and vulnerable. Despite his disappointment, he clung to Hakon when he emerged from the office.

“I don’t like it here,” he whispered. “That man scared me. Can you take me back to your room? I want to be alone with you.”

[Hakon]

Hakon was normally a patient sort, but he did not appreciate being lectured by his superior officer. He also knew better than to let his displeasure show in any way. Besides, the Warden was winding down from the torrent of invective he'd begun to rain down upon Hakon almost before Ajax had shut the door to his office.

"...consider your quota for the season doubled, and be lucky I don't treble it for your preposterous failure."

Hakon bowed his head. "Yes, Sir. I shall redeem myself."

"You will," the Warden averred. "You know what will happen if you don't."

Hakon nodded. He had no desire for the sorts of harsh punishments the Warden favored for his reports in the Endornotkun who did not do as they were instructed. "May I be dismissed, Sir?"

"Not yet, Magus," The Warden said. "One more thing. I don't know who this Ajax is, but I would encourage you to let him go."

"Warden?" Hakon asked. Did the man know? Was it obvious?

"I've known you since you were a teenager, lad. I've never seen you look at anyone like you look at this boy. Just remember that if people think you are favoring him, or that you are unduly attached... it would not go well for you." The Warden finished. He did not need to elaborate.

"He is to stay for two nights, Sir, nothing more." Hakon replied. Maybe that was a mistake?

"See that it stops there," the Warden advised.

Hakon nodded. Internally, he seethed. As long as he didn't marry Ajax, and he had no intention of doing so, none of this was against the rules. Many, many mages consorted with one another or with non-magical members of the Guild. Why was it suddenly a problem when he did it? He knew better to say such things aloud, of course.

"Thank you for your counsel, Warden," was all he said instead.

"As always, you are welcome. I will write up the report. You are dismissed," the Warden replied.

Hakon felt relieved when the door closed, and his demeanor showed it. Ajax, by contrast, looked miserable. Upon hearing that the boy didn't like the tower, Hakon attempted to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, lad. I grew up here, so it is hard for me to see it with outside eyes." As they walked away from the office and toward his chambers, he continued: "I like it here, but not everyone does. There are nicer areas of the tower, though. The chapel is beautiful, and the library. The baths are also rather pretty -- oh, if you wish, we can bathe together, and wash off the road stink. Or we can return to my chambers and I can see what has been prepared for supper."

He put a companionable arm around Ajax's shoulder.

"Please don't be worried, okay? You're exactly who the Watch and the Guild seek to protect. You're not a rogue, an iconoclast, or a criminal. You have nothing to fear."

[Andros]

Hakon found the key to Ajax’s heart. Well, several keys actually. Or at least the keys to cheering him up after a strange experience with the warden. First there was a meal that surprised Ajax with both its quantity and its quality, his first good meal in a long while. Then there was the bath, which was much more impressive than the rest of the drab tower indicated. There was fresh, cold water and pleasant-smelling soap for washing up, then a large tub of scalding hot water for a soak. The bathing room was beautifully tiled, reminding Ajax of home. His father made excellent tiles and he used to like to paint them as a boy. They had the only real floor in the village.

The two men had the tub to themselves and spent some time in quiet togetherness, simply relaxing and allowing the cares of the past few days to melt away. Then Hakon grabbed Ajax and deposited him in his lap. Normally irritating, but under the circumstances actually quite pleasant. It led to exactly what you would expect when they got back to Hakon’s little cell, gentler than usual thanks to food and hot water. Ajax fell asleep in the tiny bed feeling quite content, not minding Hakon’s tight grip around him at all.

When he awoke, Hakon was gone. He’d left a note saying he had chores and Ajax should stay put. No thank you. He dressed and ventured out, wanting to see if the tower offered any diversions, which it did, in the form of a series of wrestling matches in the courtyard. Not nude like they’d have been in Teos but still a good spectacle. Ajax watched and chatted with the wrestlers between their bouts. One man, handsome and a head shorter than Hakon but broad as an ox took an interest in Ajax.

Lothar, a rather exotic name to Ajax’s ears, seemed bright and lively despite looking like a bruiser and pinning larger men without needing to break a sweat. He sized up Ajax and the team he played for rather quickly, then asked him the direct question.

“So, are you Hakon’s mistress, or whatever the male equivalent is?”

Ajax laughed. Mistress - or mister or whatever - implies some permanence, which is not his style. You also get your mistress lots of presents, which don’t seem to be forthcoming from Hakon.

“No. He rescued me and I’ve been, uh, repaying the favor.” He winked “Several times over I think. And I’m planning to repay it again when he’s done with his chores.”

Lothar made a mock sad face, first pouting and then smiling. A big, friendly smile. “He’s dumber than I thought, leaving a pretty boy like you unattended. You seem like you know how to have a good time. Come back to my room with me. I’ll invite some of the boys, we’ll rustle up some liquor, have a little party.”

He was speaking Ajax’s language - and in that clipped, somewhat brutish accent typical of natives of Jorikford, which Ajax found appealing. He wasn’t about to say no, and he happily followed Lothar, who stripped down and changed right in front of him when they arrived at his room. He showed off his brand in Resonance, which he couldn’t know gave Ajax warm feelings and added considerably to his appeal. The room was twice the size of Hakon’s depressing little prison cell. Perhaps he was lower ranking than Ajax had imagined, or just didn’t care about such things. Odd.

Lothar didn’t stop flirting for a minute as his friends arrived and everybody started to drink. He had a hand on Ajax for one reason or another almost continually, and made constant lame innuendos that seemed funnier the more Ajax had to drink. The two of them sang a few dirty ballads together to raucous cheers, and the crowd started to get loud. It was shaping up to be a good night.

The only sour note was sounded by the weird comments people kept making about Hakon. One man said he’d expected Hakon to bed his horse before he brought a boy home. Ajax felt honor-bound to stick up for Hakon there, making the obvious joke about his anatomy. Another called him a weirdo, which was true enough but didn’t matter much, what with the heroism and the aforementioned anatomy.

One comment stuck with him, though. It came from Lothar, after they were both good and drunk. The two were sitting on his bed together and Ajax decided to climb into his lap. The bed was small and the lap was spacious, so why not?

Lothar purred and whispered some filthy nonsense into his ear, asking if Ajax wanted him to clear out the party so they could have alone time.

Ajax deflected, though it was an appealing invitation.

“Hakon’s got dibs on me tonight. I’m his guest, after all. Can I get a raincheck?”

Lothar made a noise of disgust.

“Hakon,” he spat out the name. “You watch out for him, boy. He only sounds happy when he’s ranting about killing iconoclasts and criminals. He gives me the willies. Don’t get me wrong, he’s hot and good at what he does, but kind of crazy? Don’t get yourself hurt.”

Ajax should have leapt to the defense of his hero, boasted about the wounds Hakon took for him and the kindness he treated him with. But he couldn’t summon a defense. Instead, Lothar’s comment took him back to what Hakon had said about how only rogues, iconoclasts, and criminals had anything to fear from the guild. He’d forgotten about it through the pleasant afternoon and evening, but now it came back.

He recalled what his father had said many times. Iconoclast is what they call a man who wants to be free. It’s a word people who are in love with their own servitude use for those who resist. It’s what the killers who pursued Fell all the way to Teos would have called him.

The thought of how Hakon would have hated his kind, loving father penetrated through the haze of alcohol and good feeling. There was something to fear in Hakon, a rigidness Ajax couldn’t understand and bloodthirsty spirit to go with it.

Ajax felt suddenly cold, shivering despite the heat of the fire and the crowd of bodies. He said nothing to Lothar, but pushed himself closer to the man, seeking warmth and comfort.

[Hakon]

The day improved immeasurably when Ajax acceded to a trip to the baths. The lad brought a smile to Hakon's face, and that had been before he'd pulled him onto his lap and kissed him in the sauna. He'd fallen asleep with Ajax in his arms, something that he was rapidly becoming to love. The thought of waking up with Ajax not in his arms, the prospect of waking up to an absence rather than a presence, made him ache. Unfortunately, he knew that soon that would be reality. Ajax would move on, and Hakon would be back to being alone.

That cast a brief pall over his mood, but it was restored by leaving the sleeping lad a note to enjoy his rest and that Hakon would see him when he was back from his afternoon chores.

It was his turn to assist in the kitchens, something that Hakon did not mind but did not enjoy. The ceilings in the kitchen were low and it was rather hot for obvious reasons. He worked up a sweat hauling in wood for the fires and peeling potatoes to the point where he was relieved to accept some chilled water at the conclusion of his stint. Then he headed back to the lavatorium to wash up before rejoining Ajax in his room.

Unfortunately, his room was empty. Hakon tried not to panic. Ajax was a curious, friendly sort. Presumably, he had gone looking for something a bit more interesting than Hakon's sparse, unoccupied bedroom.

So Hakon attempted to think as Ajax would. He started with the library, but the librarian assured him no guests had been in that afternoon. Then he tried the chapel because he'd mentioned it to Ajax earlier, though the lad did not seem to be the pious sort. He was unsurprised not to find him here. That left returning to the dorms and wandering around in search of some unusual activity.

He heard sounds of revelry from Lothar's room, and knew in his heart that Ajax was there. With a lurch, he wondered if anything untoward was happening in the room. If someone found out, the mages could pin it on Ajax. They would avoid punishment, but he'd be tossed out, forced to sleep outside for the night instead of with Hakon. He knew that Ajax was the sort of lad who had slept rough before, but the thought of it happening to him because of Hakon's negligence stung.

So he didn't bother knocking, just knocked the door wide open and strode in. Seeing Lothar and a few men Hakon recognized as the sort of wastrels and idlers who preferred drinking to doing their duties and sleeping in to praying did not put him at ease. He was briefly relieved to see that there were no real infractions here that Lothar, a Warden, would be unable to talk his way out of, before espying Ajax in the tableau on the man's lap.

"Unhand him," Hakon said, skipping a greeting in favor of an imperative.

"Oh, Magus," Lothar replied, all icy insincerity, "I was just telling the lad here what I think of you."

"I wasn't aware you knew me well enough to have an opinion, Warden. I don't think about you at all," Hakon snapped, before putting a hand like a vice around Ajax's arm and lifting him out of Lothar's lap with little apparent effort. "We're leaving," he said to the room at large before dragging Ajax out of the room, strong arming him out of the Warden's quarters and ignoring the boy's protestations to the contrary.

As soon as they were away from the immediate vicinity, his anger at Lothar softened as he regarded Ajax.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Hakon asked, unaware that the grip on Ajax's arm was already starting to bruise.

When Ajax shook his head, Hakon felt a shock of relief rush through him like being dunked in cold water.

"Good," he said, and lifted Ajax up by his shirt collar, pinning him to the wall with one arm until they were looking eye to eye. "When I say stay put, I mean it. Don't disobey me again," he said sternly, before kissing Ajax fiercely.

[Andros]

Back in the hovel, Ajax had pegged Hakon as a good-bad boy, a dangerous gentleman. He was leaning hard on the dangerous side now. Ajax was concerned when Hakon walked in the room looking like a raincloud, worried he’d yell and cause a scene (which he promptly did.) Concern turned into fear when the big mage came for him and wrapped a vice-like grip around his arm, dragging him into the hall. No longer worried about a little embarrassment, he was frightened for his own safety, afraid that Hakon would hit him, or that he’d end up with a throwing star in his brain.

Out in the hall, pinned against the wall with his arm numb from being gripped so hard, fear turned to panic. In his agitated state, it didn’t occur to Ajax to shout for help, which surely would have been forthcoming from the mages behind every doorway. It didn’t occur to him to fight dirty either, to poke Hakon in the eye and run like hell. He was frozen, literally shivering with fear.

When Hakon kissed him it was a complete shock. He didn’t want it, but his body reacted as if he did. Some part of his subconscious actually liked the hot headed jealous act, even if it terrified him.

When Hakon pulled his lips away, keeping Ajax pinned to the wall, Ajax did the only thing he could. He started to cry. It was involuntary. He was scared and confused and a little turned on and it all came out in the form of tears.

Then he begged. That was of his own accord but seemed to be his only good option.

“Please, Hakon, don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. I’ll obey.” he said in a barely audible whisper.

When Hakon loosened his grip and let Ajax slide his feet back down to the floor, he was finally able to process what had happened. Hakon’s behavior was completely unacceptable, though Ajax should have been smarter and realized Hakon was the jealous type and too dangerous not to take seriously.

But Hakon didn’t own Ajax and certaibly didn’t have the right to boss him around or put his hands on him like this - no one did. Hakon wasn’t his husband or his master, just another lay in a long series, and one who had just made it clear that any further connection was out of the question.

There was only one path then, to leave the tower and make haste doing it. With some traveling money he could take a fast ferry upriver to Oxentide and safety. He’d planned on asking nicely for some cash on his way out (and using it to make his way north slowly in style), but now it would have to be stolen. He’d already rifled through Hakon’s things and knew how much he had and where it was.

That meant Hakon had to be sleeping like a baby, which in turn meant Ajax had to tire him out. He wasn’t sure the big boy would take no for an answer under the circumstances, and Ajax wanted it too, or at least the stupid, sex-addled part of him did. Hakon was clearly rather wound up and Ajax could unwind him.


Yes, it was a risky plan. Hakon could still beat him to a pulp or worse before he escaped, and surely he would be furious at discovering the robbery in the morning. He might pursue Ajax. But the alternative was staying here under the man’s thumb for the foreseeable future. That was intolerable. Better to run back to his mother.

[Hakon]

Hakon came back to himself when he realized that Ajax wasn't gasping, he was crying. He didn't look like he was having fun. He looked scared.

Hakon blanched, and deposited Ajax on his own two feet. He kept one arm on the wall to one side, but dropped the other; he didn't want the boy to feel trapped. He leaned in to make better eye contact. "Ajax, I'd never harm you. I'm sorry if I gave you any impression to the contrary. Those men are bad influences, and they don't care for you as I do. Some of the things they've done to servants here, well. It does not bear repeating," Hakon said, though he had knowingly repeated enough of it to cast aspersions on Lothar.

In truth, nothing that untoward had happened in Vesterhal for some time, or at least nothing that Hakon was aware of. Other Towers were apparently more liberal in their permissions and lax in their enforcement. The Tower in Northradiaca had even lost an iconoclast after he raped and murdered a serving girl. In Vesterhal, it was more general licentiousness and the occasional pregnancy.

"Hey, let's ah, let's just go back to my quarters, okay? It's a bit early to turn in, but it's been a tough few days for you and you could use some good rest, I'm sure. If you'd prefer, I will sleep on the floor."

That's as close as he came to admitting that he'd done something wrong, but he hoped it was clear. He wasn't sure what Ajax wanted from him, or how he could make it right. Social situations had tells, just like combat, but Hakon was not adept in reading them. He just had to hope Ajax would show him the way to make this right.

[Andros]

What a charmer Hakon was. He humiliated and intimidated Ajax - very much on purpose - then went on about how much it was for his own good and just because of how much he cares. And he didn’t even have the decency to apologize.

Now that Hakon had calmed down and Ajax was more certain he was leaving this tower with all his teeth still in his head, the adrenaline left his bloodstream. Oddly, he felt energized instead of drained. He was angry.

Hakon has no right to treat him that way. The man wasn’t his father, who never behaved like such a brute anyway. They were equals, even if he was younger and smaller.

Retroactively, he felt justified in taking the sunderscrap. And he felt justified in taking what else he could from Hakon’s room later. Yes, Hakon had saved his life, and that was not to be forgotten. But Hakon also threatened and scared him, and that was also not to be forgotten.

The anger surely showed on his face. Light-skinned like his father, Ajax coukd get red when he was upset. To hide it and let the feeling pass, he buried his head in Hakon’s chest. It must have seemed affectionate and Hakon wrapped his arms around him, probably assuming he was forgiven. But there was no affection in Ajax’s heart.

He did have to fake it though. He needed Hakon sleeping peacefully and deeply in his bed, and the way to get him there was obvious. Ajax looked up at his dangerous gentleman and lied to his face.

“It’s alright. You were looking out for me and you got scared. I don’t mind. It’s sweet, actually. You must really care about me.” He flashes a big fake smile. “You know I want you next to me in bed. Always”

That seemed to please Hakon, who had looked stricken until that point - probably because he was a huge asshole and now he and Ajax both knew it. Ajax didn’t want to be embraced and didn’t want to talk. He pulled away, took Hakon’s hand, and walked with him in a simulacrum of companionable silence back to his cell.

Ajax didn’t waste time. He took Hakon to bed and gave it his best effort. He tried to forget how angry he was and allow the physical sensations to overwhelm him. Given Hakon’s endowments and abilities he rather succeeded. Twice. He tired himself out in the process and nearly fell asleep in the mage’s arms. He pinched himself to stay awake for what must have been an hour, as Hakon’s slow breathing turned into loud snores and he finally rolled onto his back.

Finally free, Ajax moved quickly. He dressed and took up his satchel, which he had surreptitiously packed between rounds in bed. Then he silently opened the small chest of drawers where Hakon kept his fortune, such as it was. The coins were in a small leather bag and grabbed quickly. Ajax held them tight so they wouldn’t jingle. He also grabbed the necromancy kit Hakon had taken from Alecto, which was sitting on top of the drawers. It could be sold for a pretty penny, or perhaps given as a gift for his mother, to apologize for running away and start things off on a better note. If she were nice to him.

Ajax made for the door and opened it as slowly as he could. It still creaked and Hakon stirred. Ajax’s blood ran cold. Being caught now would be a disaster. If Hakon found him trying to escape, he might not stop at roughing him up a little, even before he discovered the robbery.

It was that fear that propelled him out the door, once Hakon had settled back down. Ajax knew that, on paper, he was doing a low thing. Hakon had saved his life and suffered for him, and here he was robbing that man and abandoning him without a word. But he was not going to feel guilty over escaping a man he feared. He walked out and closed the door without looking back.

[Hakon]

When Hakon woke up, Ajax was gone, and it felt different. The feeling of uneasiness he'd had before, the soupcon of fear that Ajax would leave when he saw how upset the lad had been after he'd extricated him from Lothar's vile grasp, come back tenfold.

Fear turned to anger when he saw that the latch on his dresser was askew. Hakon, perpetually tidy to the point of anal-retentiveness, concocted a worst case scenario rather quickly that turned out to be prescient: Ajax had robbed him and then absconded. The infatuation that had been blossoming in his heart was torn asunder, rotting into bitterness and fury. With a long growl deep in his chest, he tore through his remaining possessions methodically to see what else Ajax had stolen. Alecto's necromantic kit that he had intended to run to the quartermaster that day was gone, too, presumably to market alongside the 109 df he'd kept in his room.

In a panic, he checked his desk for his Sundering kit and other effects from his other alliance and was relieved to find them as they had been, undisturbed. Either Ajax had not though to search there or he'd passed them over. It occurred to Hakon with a pang that Ajax had probably lifted Alecto's sunderscrap, as well.

He hadn't been anything, then. Just another patsy for the young man to charm, fuck, swindle, and toss aside. Ajax had made a fool of him. Hakon martyred himself in his own mind, recasting everything Ajax had said and done as nothing more than an attempt to manipulate him, attempts that had worked.

He cried a bit, then. He'd thought this had maybe been it. Someone he could unburden himself with, be himself with, cherish, protect, and love. Clearly, he'd misjudged the boy. He'd let his guard down, and he'd let an enemy behind his walls. Nothing for it but to build them higher and thicker than before.

He grabbed his mace and went to train. As he worked on the basic forms he'd gone through thousands of times, he imagined Ajax's face being caved in, splattering all over the ground. The thought of it brought a grim smile of satisfaction. The idea of the boy begging for his life, and of being given no quarter. It was a revenge fantasy, but the bloom of love gave way to the fires of hatred as Hakon continued to train.

If I ever see that wastrel again, he thought, I'll beat him until there's nothing left but bloody pulp.

[Andros]

Ajax thought about Hakon more than he expected on the three day ferry ride up to Oxentide, as he looked out the window of the comfortable interior berth the mage had unwittingly purchased for him. He didn’t usually think twice about a man after they’d parted. Sometimes he forgot names and couldn’t recall faces to mind only hours after he left a bed. But Hakon was different.

The truth was he felt sad about how it had ended. Hakon had been a cut above other men. His mother used to say that about his father, always with a sarcastic sneer, but for Hakon it was true. He was heroic and brave, tall and handsome, kind and solicitous at times, and, if Ajax were being honest, the best time in bed he’d ever had.

He didn’t dwell on their explosive connection though, or even on his rescue. Instead he kept replaying in his mind how Hakon had gotten up to get him seconds in the dining hall. He’d kissed Ajax on the top of his head as he slid behind him, filled up a generous plate, and brought it back unbidden. He’d even paid attention to which dishes Ajax had liked best. It was sweet, simply sweet, in a way that felt more genuine than the overloaded compliments and gifts he was used to. Had Hakon loved him? Maybe. Did Ajax love Hakon? No, but love might have grown.

Then Hakon had to blow it. Replaying that scene in his mind, Ajax recalled being afraid just like he has been in the hovel, that he was going to be hurt or worse. That was no way to treat someone you cared for. It wasn’t something to just accept. On reflection, Ajax was right to leave, and to take some money to make his escape comfortable in recompense for Hakon’s bullying.

But…Ajax wondered if things might have gone differently if he’d been able to stand up to Hakon like a man. If he’d been brave enough to say “Take your hands off me. You better apologize and promise never to do this again or I’m leaving.” Would Hakon have been contrite? Would he have treated Ajax as an equal going forward? It seemed possible. And it also seemed possible that he might have strangled Ajax in the hallway, which was not a great sign.

He could almost feel himself growing up as the wheels turned in his head. He’d gotten good at reading men, at flattering and pleasing and using them. He hadn’t yet learned to see his conquests as full human beings, to be honest and vulnerable with them. If he wanted more out of his relationships - and he was coming to think he did - he’d have to change.


As the great city came into view and Ajax ventured above decks, he came to a decision. Once he had settled in, he would write to Hakon and explain himself. He’d offer to pay back the money if Hakon would apologize for scaring him. If the mage was properly contrite, perhaps they could even see one another again, this time under the watchful eyes of his family, somewhere off in the fast-approaching capital of Northradica.

Ajax realized with a start as the shore grew closer that until this moment he hasn’t smelled the ocean since he ran away. It felt wonderful to smell it again. Even in this distant, alien country, the ocean would always remind him of home. This great seaport was home now.