37th of Glade
Vivian couldn’t focus. While he was getting better at reading, he couldn’t help but feel he wasn’t retaining the information. He sighed and looked over at his things. He had a little bit of makeup now and he fully intended on setting up the condenser properly. There was some wisteria in the garden he intended on extracting, maybe to make some alluring perfume. His mind kept wandering while he was trying to study Malformation. It seemed so cold and clinical in the book, and nothing at all like he felt when he touched a creature. However, he’d also been feeling rather headachy performing his magic, with a bit of stomach upset for a few days. He was pushing it a bit.
Vivian closed the book and thought. Well…he couldn’t find Degare. Maybe there was another way to study. He picked up his books and headed to the great room, sprawling on the couch. Taking a break and doing his makeup hadn’t helped, even though he now looked fantastic; he had black eyeliner and a small touch of the green he’d made, making his eyes pop. He stared at the book a little more, sighing in frustration.
Maybe he needed to work? He’d only really been fucking Degare. The chef just got blowjobs whenever Vivian wanted snacks and the man was hesitant to let him raid the pantry again. Vivian’s eyes flicked up when he spotted one of the porters. Young, somewhat handsome. He was about Vivian’s age with blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was carrying parcels to the kitchen. Vivian watched him between paragraphs.
An idea struck him.
“You.” He called.
The young man blinked owlishly at him. “Me?”
“Yeah. I need help studying my magic. Want to help?” Vivian offered, a grin crooking the edges of his mouth. The porter didn’t quite know how to respond. Vivian tilted his chin down slightly and blinked, giving the young man his best come-hither look. “I just need you to ask me some questions.”
The porter rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re Vivian aren’t you? The prostitute the Veir is keeping around.”
“I prefer the term catamite. And you?” Vivian sat up and set the book down. Yes, the porter would do. At the very least he could make studying fun. “Young thing like you can always use some company.”
The porter blushed. “Lucas. You’re going to get me fired. How about I just ask you the questions without…uh…anything else? I’ve finished bringing in the delivery but the maid might have more for me to do.” He said nervously, glancing over his shoulder as though she were watching. Ah yes, Vivian knew her well. She didn’t tolerate him very much, disapproved of the Veir fucking him, and seemed to dislike him on a very personal level. Vivian could honestly say the feeling was mutual.
“Lucas eh? Sure. Come with me. Let’s find somewhere quiet.” Vivian picked up his book and sauntered toward the hallway. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder, but he was listening to hear if Lucas came with him. There was the hesitation, the little tap of a man not too sure what he was about to do…there we go. Proper footsteps just as Vivian rounded the corner. Good boy. Vivian opened the door to his room and nudged his desk chair over with a foot, going to sit on his bed. Doubtless the other man was going to feel more comfortable in the desk chair than he was on Vivian’s bed.
“So uh…you’re studying Malformation?” Lucas asked, taking the offered book and sitting down in the desk chair.
“That’s right. It’s boring reading the book over and over, and I doubt Degare has the time or want to quiz me. So you’re up.” Vivian said, settling on his back on the bed. He folded his arms behind his head, glancing over at Lucas.
“Well…alright, so what sort of questions..?” Lucas trailed off, flipping through the book and doing his level best to avoid eye contact.
“Ask me questions about the magic. I need to know abilities, what to watch for, the signs of magic exhaustion, philosophy, anything.” Vivian mentioned. Anything that would help make Degare’s initiation smoother, and himself a stronger mage. He didn’t want to hurt Degare like he had been hurt. Malformation was a tough initiation as it was.
“Okay, what’s Imprinting?” Lucas asked.
“The way we connect to an animal, however briefly, to learn its place in the world. It’s biology. It’s philosophy of life however simple that is.” Vivian said. He crossed one leg over the other, studying Lucas.
“Molding?”
“The act of changing into another creature.”
“You can do that?” Lucas sounded surprised.
“Anything we’ve imprinted on. Like I have Bara’s form- the mule outside. I can change into a copy of him.” Vivian smirked. Lucas nodded, and flipped through the book. They spent a few hours like that, with Lucas asking questions and Vivian answering. Lucas flipped through the book looking for more skills he could drill Vivian on.
“Thery…thery-ahn-thropy? What’s that?”
“You graft one of your imprinted forms onto your body. Like…hm, want me to demonstrate?” Vivian grinned. Lucas nodded, setting the book in his lap, and Vivian held up an arm. Glittering gold armor shivered up out of his skin, coating his forearm and hand in loosely hinged chitinous plates. “A beetle’s armor can become my own.”
Lucas stared, mouth slightly agog. “Can I touch it..?” He asked hesitantly. Vivian held out his arm, and Lucas gingerly ran his fingers along Vivian’s armored hand, the his forearm. The armor was warm, slightly pliable and rough to the touch. It was punctuated with little pores, and striated like a man’s fingernails, yet caught the light like molten gold. “It’s beautiful…”
Vivian smiled, and released it. The armor shivered back under his warm skin like it were sinking into mud, and Lucas stroked his fingers where it had disappeared. No blood. No cuts. Just featureless flesh again. Vivian gently extricated his hand from Lucas’ grasp, and the porter blushed. He picked up the book again and flipped through it, clearing his throat.
“What’s a Doppelgänger?” Lucas asked.
“The apex of Malformity. Being able to steal another man’s form, or his qualities.” Vivian said quietly. “Basically, we can imprint people instead of just animals. I could steal the Veir’s form, or a member of the royal family if I got close enough. Doppelgänger means ‘Double Walker’ in an old tongue; as in there can be two of a man.”
Lucas shivered. “Is that why you’re here? To steal someone’s form?”
Vivian chuckled and shook his head. “No. I don’t want to lose myself in anyone else like that. You can get stuck in a form and never be able to go back. Imagine being stuck in another body, knowing it’s not yours, but unable to remember who you are…you’d go crazy.” He mumbled. “It’s called Stagnation.”
“Gods, that’s horrid. Is that the worst that can happen? You get stuck?” Lucas asked, shutting the book.
Vivian sighed. “The worst is called Atrocity. You…sort of go mad and mix all your imprints together, and since you can’t remember who or what you are, you become a shambling monster. Forever.” He looked over at Lucas, who was looking a little green at the idea. “Won’t happen to me. I’m not looking to become the best mage on earth, or even use it to hurt other people. I still have to find my purpose with it, but I don’t want to use it for war, or stealing faces.”
“Thank the gods for that, your normal face is fine.” Lucas smiled wryly. “I don’t think you answered anything wrong. You’re a good study. Do you want to work on…things like you showed me?”
Vivian shook his head. “I think I’m overextending myself a little. I’ve been getting headaches and a little sickness, and I don’t think it’s the food anymore. So I wanted to shift to book learning for a little while just to rest.” He sat up and smiled at Lucas. “You were very helpful.” Time to give his little helper a reward. He didn’t like the idea of just sending him off with nothing.
“I didn’t do much…” Lucas trailed off. Vivian slid off the bed and shut the door with a flick of his wrist. “Really, I ought to get back…”
Vivian got onto his knees and rested his cheek on Lucas’ thigh, looking up at him. “Don’t want your treat?” He asked softly. Oh, he knew what he was doing, looking up at the young man with his big blue eyes, his fingers stroking along Lucas’ legs. He moved his fingers slowly like he would with Bara when he was nervous, not wanting to spook him. Lucas looked like his mouth had gone dry and wasn’t saying a word, just watching what he was doing.
Good. Vivian needed a think, now. When he was doing this he slid into a bit of a meditative state. It was doing a repetitive task, and one he could do without thinking, that helped him brainstorm. He needed to think on the Veir’s mark, on what Malformity would mean to Degare. He needed to remember how his own ceremony had gone, what little he could remember of it.
He unbuckled Lucas’ belt, and settled in for a long think.
