Hello, I am a Liar

[Maladan]

70th of Frost, Year 4621

It was nice of Thomas to invite him over to breakfast in his and Latham's room. Honestly though, he felt a little out of place here. He took a chair at the table by Thomas. They were alone, Latham had left a moment ago, to arrange their citizenship. It was strange how the man could deal with adverse situations in life and seemingly... making it look just easily. He just somehow came up with the right solution to do. Whether it was the beating of Wiessen, the necromancy treatment, or the legislation of this country.

He smiled nervously at Thomas. He could guess that the young man wanted to say something, but he was quicker.
Thomas must have known that although he and Latham had cleared things up, between him and Maladan questions have risen on the contrary.

"Thomas, I would like to tell you that... no matter what happened, you are still the person who helped me when I was alone. I trust and respect you, nothing has changed that. I'm glad I can be your friend. I'm sorry I was harsh and maybe even cold when your husband saved us... and thank you for not forgetting me, as you promise. It means a lot. Really."

This was pretty good to begin with and Maladan was wondering if he shouldn't leave it at that. It sounded like a good ending, or rather a beginning of conversation, but he wouldn't be entirely honest with Thomas if he'd stop now. There was a B to an A.

"I'm not saying... I'm not worried... that one day you'll feel the need to run away from our friendship. I know we didn't start out at really bright circumstances and we were more like... dragged by circumstances, but I want you to know that I... I mean it. And I hope you do, too. And I hope this won't discourage you." The elf said and fell into another nervous silent.

"Okay, this is the point where it's probably clear to you... that I haven't had many friends, and I am no master of communication." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with a sigh, preferring to stuff his mouth with bread, before he says anything stupid. He felt like for some reason he either had nothing to say, or he was talking shit.

At the same time, there was also... the situation with Latham yesterday. It was probably nothing ~ he shouldn't have bothered Thomas with it.

[Thomas]

Thomas was relieved when Maladan accepted his invitation for morning tea. While he'd done his best not to misrepresent himself with his cellmate for the duration of their stay in jail, he had not been entirely honest, either. In Thomas' flexible mind, lies by omission scarcely counted as lies at all, but he was all but certain Maladan did not see it that way. The elf was principled and almost noble. Had he not met and grown to love Latham, he would have dismissed Maladan's morality as naivete, but he'd been forced to accept that sometimes, there were people in the world who tried to live by some kind of code, even if it inconvenienced them. By contrast to Maladan or Latham, he had few scruples, though he clung to what he did have except in times of great desperation. He had a feeling, though, that if he said them aloud to either man, they would be horrified.

"Maladan, if I'd left you to rot to save myself, I..." Thomas paused. "I cannot say I would have been unable to live with myself, or that I cannot see myself doing it. I will do a great many things to save myself, even dishonorable things like that. I can say, though, that it would have eaten at me. You are the noblest man I have met in a long time. Even Latham, though he is still quite principled, has grown more pragmatic since I initially met him. As for running, Lathan and I discussed that. No more running away is a foundational rule in our relationship. He's made it clear that he'd rather I tell him about issues bothering me, even if I am scared that he will be irritated or think less of me. So I will do this, and we will see how it goes. I suppose I can promise the same for you: even if I am scared, I will not run without telling you what is happening, first."

"As for not having many friends. When I used my Mentalism on you, in the jail, I saw a bit of your life. It can be hard to interpret murals precisely, but from what I can tell, you have spent most of your life in the woods, perhaps with a woman? Perhaps it was somewhere isolated from society, I think, which simply means you did not have many opportunities to make friends. It is okay to be awkward, I think, when one has just not had the opportunity to practice being around people, do you not find?"

Thomas took an appreciative sip of tea and allowed himself to bask in the feeling of being safe, warm, full, and with someone he cared for. If Latham were to be believed, one could build a whole life full of moments like this. It seemed unlikely, but maybe it was worth fighting for.

"For what it's worth, I would really encourage you to stay with Latham, or with us, if you prefer to think of it that way. Contrary to what you said earlier, he's not my husband. He's married to the other Lord of House Venger, Wendall. So in that way, we are both guests of his Lordship. I'm his lover, though says he will divorce Wendall to be with me. Frankly, I believe him. Latham tends to accomplish the things he sets out to do. So perhaps he is my future husband," Thomas said, chuckling a bit. It sounded silly, but he was cheered by the thought of it. "I know you have your freedom from Lord Weissen, and soon, we will both at least no longer be Nameless subject to the whims of Lorien's upperclass, but I'd love it if you stayed with us for a long time, Maladan. I think we could learn much from one another."

He kept his face friendly, his posture open. He wasn't certain what exactly he wanted from Maladan, but he knew it had extended beyond the confines of their shared jail cell, and that only time spent with one another could tell him more.

[Maladan]

Bread and tea were delicious. The taste of real food was bringing back memories, happy ones. He remembered how he helped the innkeeper and his wife with cooking. The kitchen was full of the smell of fresh herbs, baked meat and vegetables. He loved it. Maybe he could learn few recipes someday, just in case. It'd be great to bake Thomas and Latham that wonderful blueberry cheesecake inkeepers wife was famous with... as the gift. Sign of gratitude; he still felt somehow obliged. It'd be naive to thing that one cake would pay it all off, but it would be nice gesture.

Maladan slightly chuckled, remorse eating out of Thomas was probably the best he could hoped for.
He wasn’t offended by highly regarded survival, not... much. And if, Thomas considering him ‘noble’ washed all harmed feelings away. It somehow stroked famous ego of Sil’Norai in him. He himself felt like trash back in the cell, next to the charming man, but maybe he was wrong.

“I thank you for being honest with me.” He noded. Even if Thomas looked relaxed and open, Maladan thought that this may be a long run for him, even pretty demanding one. He understood the fear, the push to run away. "And how do you feel about that?" He asked. Latham had some demands, and pretty logical one.

Speaking of mentalism, Maladan's smile faded away a little. He tried to push some memories aways, replacing them with the cakes.
"Yes. Mother. Not my actual mother, but she cared about me, raisied me, practically. I was little when I left Sil'Elaine with my parents, they died on the journey. She took me in. Witch of the Woods they call her. She was indeed a mage, just like you and Latham. I learned necromancy from her, because she healed people for money, helped with their problems... but she was... ruthless with her magic, commanding life, dead, humans, animals and even the plants. More I grow up, more I saw. When I was younger, she seemed so... she seemed nicer. I left her after we argued." he admited, joining Thomas with taking a sip. "I'd happy for the opportunity, but... I don't know, Thomas. I am not really good at talking to people and I am somewhat afraid to try, no matter how ok it may be being awkward."

Perhaps that's why Maladan found Thomas' next words quite surprising. "You want me to stay with you?"

Maladan didn't respond to the.. things connected to the life of their intimate triangle. Well, he didn't respond other than by a bite of his lip and a shrug. Thomas was about to learn that this was a universal tell of Maladan's body language, whenever he lied or talked himself out from saying something honest but possibly mean. It was as if he wanted to threaten himself with a tiny clench of his teeth for moral questioning act, whether by the lying or saying something that may hurt.
"Yeah, it's probably early, but it sounds... nice." He said, as the phrase 'I'd love it if you stayed with us for a long time' was echoing in his head, connected to other things: sharing the life-space with them, hearing their... enjoyment of each other....

It'd be great.

He smiled.

[Thomas]

Thomas poured more tea for Maladan, as the style when no servant was around, and filled the other man's plate with more goodies. Even if this was a hotel, and not one he was paying for, he still wanted to be a good host. Maladan had passable table manners, at least, although he had misused his custard spoon for his teaspoon. Not the sort of thing that Thomas cared about, but a Celebrant would notice and judge him for it. They had nothing better to do after all. Still, he knew the basics, he was an earnest conversationalist and he had good diction. His finer table manners needed some work, as did his elocution, and his ability to school his expression. It all seemed quite workable, though.

"You are, of course, under no obligation to stay, and if you do stay, you are no under obligation to associate with me, but if you do and you will, I would be delighted to give you some pointers on what you feel you lack. In my opinion, much of it is simply practice. I was a quiet, relatively shy kid for much of my life. All of my tricks were learned, not naturally inborn. I think many people think that to be social, even charming, is some kind of inborn ability. I can assure you, it isn't. You are simply starting from a deficit, because you had an isolated upbringing, and while this Mother of yours taught you things about medicine and necromancy, she did not tell you how to fold your napkin when leaving the table for a bathroom break."

"We can, of course, do many other things together," Thomas said, smiling brightly while giving no indication that those other things included his mouth on Maladan's.

[Maladan]

Maladan was given more tea and goodies and did not hesitate to take them. He was hungry as a wolf, sort of constantly. He knew very well that he had to start lightly on his stomach, which was not used to proper meals. Mal didn't really care much for proper manners, but even if he would eat with his hands like an animal, there would be a certain dignity to it. Maybe.

Noticing the look Thomas was giving him as he used the spoon, he stayed his hands and became somewhat alert. Watching Thomas's face carefully, he pulled the current spoon out of the teacup and tried another that looked... tea-like, all with his mouth full of cookies.

"I think... I want to stay. At least for a while. And don't be ridiculous, of course I won't turn my back on you, Thomas." He said as he swallowed a mouthful. "I'll be glad if you can help me not embarrass you or your man... ehm, I mean... your man married to another man." He wiped his mouth with his napkin and attempted a polite smile. "I think it would be fun! And... I can learn you a bit of Silvain, so you can surprise Latham if you'd want. Also, maybe something in the art of healing could catch your interest?" He offered him. Maladan didn't want Thomas help to come freely, without anything in return, he already owed them his freedom. It was only healthy to repay Thomas with something for his lessons.

"Oh, that'd be... nice." Other things... is that flirt? Thoughts flowed through Maladan's head like a swarm of furious bees, he rather stuffed his mouth with another cookie to avoid saying anything stupid.

[Thomas]

Thomas' eyes widened at the thought of learning Silvan in secret for Latham. He was never quite sure where the man stood on his Sil'Elainian heritage. On the one hand, he seemed to take some pride in it with Maladan. On the other, when he'd asked Latham if he preferred his given name to his assumed one, he was pretty firm that Taelian was the name of a man he'd left behind. Thomas had assumed he had left the culture and heritage behind, as well, but perhaps that wasn't true. In any case, learning how to say a few phrases would be interesting, and maybe Latham would be touched by the gesture.

"I appreciate the offer on both learning Silvain and learning medicine. The person who taught me, Humble, he was..." Thomas trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it politely. "He was more of a salesman, I think, than an herbalist. I am much the same. I suspect you err more on the side of efficacy than of making a customer feel good about what they are buying. While I have no plans to pursue a career as a traveling peddler if I am to be with Latham, I still feel that learning how to make medicine is not a bad idea. If you'd like, I can teach you what Humble taught me, in return. Who knows, maybe there's a technique or two in there that is of use for more than spreading good cheer."

He did not miss how flustered Maladan had grown at the innuendo, but for now, he chose not to push his luck. For one thing, the man had just been through a horrific ordeal. For another, when he'd attempted to touch Maladan in the past, it had been met with either displeasure or passivity. Thomas had no interest in forcing himself on anyone. For a third, if he were to stay by Latham's side, and he had every intention of doing so, adding another romantic entanglement may not be practical. All of these concerns, while quite logical, did nothing to diminish the joy he got from sitting with Maladan and simply chatting, or watching the man eat cookies with the enthusiasm of someone who didn't know or didn't care that it was impolite to be seen enjoying something so much. He had a handsome face, too. Almost regal. In another world, maybe he would be convincing him to try his hand at being an actor, but in this one, that most likely would not go over well.

"There is one more thing, but I hesitate to bring it up. I need to practice my Mentalism abilities, I think, if I am to improve. Would you be opposed to my making you feel happy, or sad? If you wish your heart to remain your own, please just say so. I can ask Latham instead, if you'd prefer."

[Maladan]

"Okay, great! We can get started as soon as you feel up to it. I suppose you'll probably be interested in phrases first.... It also sounds to me like you're trying to roundly suggest that this Humble of yours was more of a con man selling dyed piss as a cure for hair loss than a physician." Maladan laughed, but then thought about all of it once again and he pieced the hints together. In truth, the peddler helped him a lot, as did the constant repetition of the 'feel good about the buy rather than the cure' philosophy.

"Thomas," he said with a completely serious (almost comically so) face and an expression as if the man had just stolen his lollipop, "that's unethical. This type of hyenism keeps people in the obscurity and encourages superstitions, crazy and sometimes even harmful medical approaches and spending money on miracles instead of real investments that could help. It's time for you to learn something that really helps! Plus, being able to sell it as well as these thieves do will be a big win for the noble art of medicine." he thought, but then remembered what the man before him must have gone through, and what he had undergo yesterday. How he had been tested and how he decided to leave these harmful habits of his - and here Maladan was, lecturing him like a little boy. Thomas has seen his share of the world and Mal knew better to respect that.

"Sorry, that was... extremely inappropriate. Surely you never meant to hurt anyone, as you said before – you were just trying to go around with what you had to survive, like everyone else. I'm not supposed to judge you, sorry my friend." He added, noticing the look Thomas was giving him. He... smiled. Thomas was a handsome man – very handsome man and his glares were giving him the feel of being known and for Maladan, that was a good feeling. In the moments when Thomas had that face, he looked like he was really trying to get to know you in the best, most perfect way. At that moment, for a second, it was like you were the most important person in the whole universe. Maladan almost choked on a cookie when he forgot to breathe, taken by the experience that was felt before, but never so intensive... until today. Memories of the previous night with Latham pushed themselves into his mind and tormented him, and he was just about to confess when Thomas broached the subject of Mentalism. Maladan rose from his chair and began to walk slowly by his side of the table, playing with his hands. nervously, looking at his feet or into the wall at the whole time of his monologue:

"Something happened yesterday with Latham, something I should probably apologize for, even though Latham said you probably won't be mad, but I feel terrible right now. He was helping me with necromancy healing... and we were talking... and he had this intense look on his face and then he hugged me and I felt safe and terribly vulnerable at the same time and then... I kissed him. I know he's married – even though obviously marriage doesn't mean that much here – and he has you for gods sake, and I'd like to kiss you too, but I still don't know if I should regret what happened or if it is even good idea to stay with you two and be with you this way... since it can complicate things so much between us all! There is so much actual and important stuff between you two that you need to talk through and deal with! And I feel like I'm linking up on to you two like a wounded puppy you've decided to adopt and I'm peeing in your shoes to draw attention to myself and show affection in some wacky dog way. I want to be your friend Thomas, I terrybly want to: trust me... but the very first thing I do is like... kiss your lover. That's crazy! And now I've been thinking instead of telling you straight like... the first thing I should have done." he sat back, looking at his friends face like a picture of misery, blushing all over his face, unexpectedly stunned and probably frightened by that stuff he just fired on the poor guy sitting in front of him.

Of course, he did nothing better and smarter than stuff yet another cookie into his mouth, adhering to his rule of punishing himself in another form – making it impossible to say anything else that would cause harm through his mouth being full.

[Thomas]

Maladan's style of communication was something they'd need to work on. In the span of two minutes, he'd proposed that they go into business together, called Thomas a mountebank, apologized for saying so, confessed that he and Latham had kissed, and further confessed that he'd like to see if they could kiss, as well. Despite himself, Thomas put up a hand to cover a broad smile, and stifled a laugh. He didn't want Maladan to think he was laughing at him. The poor man was worked up enough.

"Maladan, please! Let's handle one topic at a time, if you would be so good. Yes, I would be happy to learn medicine from you. Learning a useful skill can't hurt. If Latham's plot to take over Lorien does not go as planned, maybe we will return to a life that's more familiar to me, and if that unlikely event should come to pass, I plan to sell medications that are a bit more effective than what I've made to this point. To that end, I am of course happy to teach you anything of what I know, as well. If you wish to become an actor, for instance, we can work on that. I know many more things than just how to speak, how to sell, and how to fuck."

"Which, since you apparently wish to place your lips on mine as you did with my lover, I'd be happy to help with that, as well. I'm not saying you need pointers, by the way, as I'm sure I wouldn't know. It's more that if you wish to go beyond just kissing Latham, there are some matters we should discuss. First thing's first, Mal."

Thomas grabbed Maladan's free hand, pulling in the taller man for a quick kiss. Maladan's breath was sweet on Thomas' lips, presumably from all the cookies the elf had been stress-eating for the last several minutes. He brought up his other hand to cup Maladan's face, and he kept the kiss slow, tender, and sweet. The poor man had been through hell in that dungeon, and who knows what else had happened to him before then. Thomas had no intention of traumatizing him further.

When they separated, Thomas spoke: "I'm not sure you recall this exact moment, Maladan, but in the dungeon, there was a moment when I touched you on the shoulder, and you flinched. That was the moment I knew that whatever there would be between us would happen on your terms at a pace that makes sense for you. So if this is as far as you wish to go for today, or at all, that is completely fine. I already share Latham with Wendall, so I'm hardly going to be upset about sharing him with you if this is to be more of a hinge than a triangle. If it is to be triangular in nature, however, you are more than welcome to kiss me again."

[Maladan]

Thomas covered his mouth with his hand, and Maladan's mind began to create catastrophic scenarios of tragic endings in outbursts of rage and indignation that would follow Thomas 'indignant gasp': This was it, the moment when he messed it all up, only because he let loose, because he wanted more than he was meant to have. Now he learns how much he failed the first friend he had and eventually loses Latham as well, as he would be a fool to put Maladan before Thomas. His stomach threw several flips in a row and this moment was almost comparable to torture for him, or worse – here he had much more to lose.

But when Thomas finally spoke, sounding neither angry nor disappointed, Maladan's brain nearly shut down as an immense sense of relief washed over him. He might even have cried if he wouldn't thrown himself out of the window driven by shame first: it was extremely frightening how much power relationships had gained for him in such a short time. Fortunately, the situation didn't allow him to panic and guided him to listen to Thomas' voice instead.

Still strongly moved, he still laughed, slightly nervously, at the end of Thomas's first monologue:
"Can you imagine me as an actor? I'd have to play those bad guys from Silnor of old, who'd get hard and well deserved beating at the end of every pl–how to do what?!" The last activity in which Thomas described himself as proficient did not get smoothly over his tongue – as a swear word, sure; but confronted with reality of adult life above the sweet romantic kisses, Maladan seemed to be closer to a child, rather than a young man. More the pair touched on the subject the more strongly it became apparent that Maladan would blush and run rather than delve into the it with eager aroused zeal.

And just as expected, as Thomas broached the subject of what probably wasn't fare from happening last night, Maladan face was becoming more and more red, and from the way his eyes darted around the room, he was probably mapping out escape routes. However and surprisingly enough, Maladan did not showed any signs of resistance to the pull. Instinct began to function and Maladan tilted his head slightly and closing his eyes. Kisses felt strange, warm and wet; it didn't taste of anything, well except of a tea, but it was absolutely exceptional and full of sensations. Different than with Latham and yet similar.

He felt Thomas's warm palm on his cheek and somehow instinctively moved his own hand to meet it; though he didn't know exactly what he was doing or why, Mal deepened the kiss slightly, mimicking Latham's technique that he experienced. Sex was something obscure, big, and probably scary and largely unknown – but Maladan already knew kisses: they were nice, close, and a distraction from anything unpleasant. That was all Maladan needed to know to do what he did. It was a way to silence thoughts, to silence doubts, and to assure affection and be assure of affection at the same time.

When they separated and Maladan sat back down in his seat, he looked different. He smiled gently at Thomas, and though he was still blushing, he was no longer nervous or dazed.

"Taelian didn't let me twitch and... it was an instinct I was glad to get rid of. I'm... glad you're not pushing on me. And honestly? I'd love to be your lover, like I am Latham's. Honestly, it's weird but I can't say I am not enjoying it, I still feel like it's happening too fast and it's getting very out of my hands, but... it's a best thing that happened to me for... a very long time." He chuckled and looked away for a moment before making eye contact with Thomas again: "You know, when I first saw you, you were... incredibly handsome. It was like everything came alive when you came by, like the odor of a century old sealed tomb was finally opened and the wind got in, reminding that underworld scenery that there is spring out there in the far wide world. I was terribly jealous of you... and ashamed of myself for being envious of you. I kept my distance... because I knew you were taken and I was afraid... I'd get attached to you. I didn't really understand how someone could fall in love with multiple people at the same time, I still don't really understand it, but I think something similar is happening to me now. I don't even know what love is exactly, but... I can't think of another word for it. When I look at you, you still... glow. It's like you're still starring in a play."

As he was speaking, he moved closer to the other man. "I know I don't have much experience, and I know there's a lot that goes into being a lover here – I'm honestly a little scared of it. But I don't want to mess it up. I want to be prepared. Whether it's not embarrassing Latham or you by offending someone in the higher society... or being able to do... well... do it."

"I think... triangles is my favorite polygon. Did you know that it's the shape you're trying to get to open the rib cage for organ extraction?"

And so, he kissed the man again.

[Thomas]

Thomas knew better than to think himself immune to flattery. Maladan was not calculating enough to be capable of it anyhow, which meant his vision of Thomas as a charismatic breath of life when he'd been deep in despair was sincere, and made the compliments all the better for being heartfelt. He listened, smiling as Maladan's heartfelt words poured from him like wine from a graceful carafe. He found himself wishing for wine, suddenly. It wasn't the right time of day for it, but this conversation would be so much more fun somewhere warm, perhaps under a tree, with a blanket and some fruit, cheese, and wine.

Their second kiss was remarkable. For one thing, Maladan initiated it, which affirmed for Thomas that his attentions were indeed wanted. For another, Maladan was already learning quite a bit. He'd started out new if not unstudied, due perhaps due perhaps to the combination of his knowledge of anatomy and Latham's interference yesterday. He was learning quickly, however. Thomas thought fondly back to teaching Latham how to kiss when they'd first met. Having the chance to do the same to someone who would, it seemed, be a long-term partner was exciting. He and Latham could take turns instructing, perhaps. He was musing.

He pulled back.

"There are some things we will probably have to teach you quite quickly. How to guard your expression, for instance, and how to choose your words with care. WIth others, however, we can take our time. I am in no hurry, Maladan, to do anything physical. Take your time with me, okay? When you feel ready, we can do more, but not before. If all that sounds good, I'd be quite interested to hear, in your own words, just what you and Latham got up to yesterday," he said with a wink.