Searing 33rd, 4622
I could get that strange feeling that something bad was going to happen; I could feel it wrack within me once again, continuing to torture me from within as I sit in my own memory palace of mirrors, thinking to myself; was the world always as cruel and vindictive as it could be. If only I could shut off the existence of one’s self. Why was it bothering me? Was it my conscience telling me to give in or was it some magical or existential force that is making me feel this way; whatever it is I did not like this feeling.
The mirrors of my mindscape were evolving and it would only be a matter of time before I become fully adept at keeping the thoughts between the hall of mirrors I walk; it wasn’t scary before like it was the first time I stepped into my own mindscape, but I could see all the horrors staring at me, screaming. There was no point in being afraid of my past, my present and my future; at the end of the day, there perhaps was a false existence, made by humanity to bring hope to others that one day they will be punished for their crimes.
It was called Karma, I clenched to it as I took another walk through my mindscape, exploring the beauty and the existence of the phantasmal barrier made by my own thoughts and dreams. Only, it wasn’t a barrier, it was my own memories. The good, the bad, the mediocre. The times where I felt like I failed in life would bring an illusion of happiness to me once again. But was that all an illusion? I couldn’t tell, for the mirrors were also deceitful in their way, they only tell the lies that I create, the thoughts that I imagine and the essence of my creativity, just to keep the dark thoughts away.
When those dark thoughts do come, I feel that hope of insecurity, the darkness looming into my soul once again, wracking and torturing me with every bad thing or rash mistake I have made. It will continue to torture me, because that’s the nature of humanity. We understand our mistakes, but is there ever an effort to learn from them, rather than constantly fall in the same trap. For I, Salen Auclair, it appears to be a trap that has forced me to question myself constantly, as I reap through the phantasms of my memory palace, travelling through the grave impressions, lead by my own thoughts, desires and creative principles.
It was exactly how the book I read would tell these theories of strange events in the mind; a book noting the prospects of the Kyrikaric Principle for each existence we travel through there always has to be balance. Of course, it is about balance, just as much as nature comes in pairs. Men and women, good and evil, right and wrong, order and chaos; these are the things which make our lives valuable in life for if we had no challenge or any form of reproductive matter, we would cease to exist. If I remember correctly, the prospect of Remnant was given to us by none other than the god of dreams himself, Kyrikain. He granted us our humanity and the ability to think, feel and philosophise events in his name.
But why did he give us these emotions of anxiety?
It all reflects the concept of balance and the things we must face in order for life to be fulfilling. There was no question that my life had been shitty from birth to now, but there has to be a reason for it. I question myself if it would ever get better or if we are living in a world conspired by the existence to co-exist? What if Atharen was just an hellish realm itself, designed to torture us and to make us think, feel and conspire against one another. For this, humanity is also a weapon, a great defiler of those who conspire against power, magic and other beings. It is no wonder that many of the mindscapes I visited made me question the megalomaniacal and distrustful nature of the Entente, but I am finally understanding.
It is power.
It is their philosophical ideology, made by their religion for if they were to remain pious, they must remain in the essence of high beauty and severe etiquette within some made-up law that they had decided to inflict upon their own kind. A law that has made a country deeply lawless, in other words, if there was no interaction with that particular law you were cast aside like dead farm cattle, taken to a slaughterhouse.
The fact is, there is a difference between law and justice and morality. Law and justice is a concept created to keep the enmasses in order, to create a divide between those who were actually good and those who manipulated the law to get their own way. Perhaps it is law that creates animosity, for it is only those who abide by it fairly who get trampled on, but there are different kinds of laws within the citizenship of other countries.
I’ve seen this phenomenon happen so many times, after watching a phantasmal replay of the events that occurred through my life with none other than Dahlia Senerite. She was a vicious and cruel woman who used the law to manipulate her own agendas and to bring ruin on her enemies who crossed her, including my lover Tiberius and many others who have crossed her path. The fact is, the effect of true narcissism comes in various forms and it would be hard to tell in an soiree full of Entente guests, since they all fit the psychological profile very well.
Including me.
However, I flaunt my looks in a subtle way, unlike Dahlia’s acquisition for power through doing favors for the big boys. I have a lot more self-respect for myself than she does. I’m sorry, coming from me that does sound bad, but it would take even the slightest reign of opportunity for her to drop her draws and beg for insatiable effort.
For me, it is effortless.
I reign people in naturally, for it is in my nature to remain as subtle and impartial as possible. After all, people are more likely to become attracted to a dark horse that they haven't seen before, especially if there was a reason to give them an ounce of pleasure, before I make their final coup de grace.
You can’t blame me for wanting to have a little fun with people, for it is their knowledge, their existence and everything about them that makes them a valuable source of weaponry in this an society run in immorality, decadence, sexual deviancy and bureaucracy as it is not what you know, it’s who and how information circulates around for if you knew the Montese, they may offer favors in exchange of rapport. However, I suppose that makes me some sort of hypocrite when I talk about the prospects of morality and philosophy.
If you can’t beat someone, it is best to join them in their game.
Eventually, it becomes the answer to toppling over such a corrupt system as I watch another replay of an engram from my current existence in how Dahlia would conform to society by being a valuable source of information. It is the question on how she used that information to secure a political hierarchy that I am missing.
However, I can learn that from other people next time I go through the Reverie; I’m sure there are minds out there who wouldn’t mind if I took a peak at their very existence.
After all, knowledge was power
Change comes from within.
I could get that strange feeling that something bad was going to happen; I could feel it wrack within me once again, continuing to torture me from within as I sit in my own memory palace of mirrors, thinking to myself; was the world always as cruel and vindictive as it could be. If only I could shut off the existence of one’s self. Why was it bothering me? Was it my conscience telling me to give in or was it some magical or existential force that is making me feel this way; whatever it is I did not like this feeling.
The mirrors of my mindscape were evolving and it would only be a matter of time before I become fully adept at keeping the thoughts between the hall of mirrors I walk; it wasn’t scary before like it was the first time I stepped into my own mindscape, but I could see all the horrors staring at me, screaming. There was no point in being afraid of my past, my present and my future; at the end of the day, there perhaps was a false existence, made by humanity to bring hope to others that one day they will be punished for their crimes.
It was called Karma, I clenched to it as I took another walk through my mindscape, exploring the beauty and the existence of the phantasmal barrier made by my own thoughts and dreams. Only, it wasn’t a barrier, it was my own memories. The good, the bad, the mediocre. The times where I felt like I failed in life would bring an illusion of happiness to me once again. But was that all an illusion? I couldn’t tell, for the mirrors were also deceitful in their way, they only tell the lies that I create, the thoughts that I imagine and the essence of my creativity, just to keep the dark thoughts away.
When those dark thoughts do come, I feel that hope of insecurity, the darkness looming into my soul once again, wracking and torturing me with every bad thing or rash mistake I have made. It will continue to torture me, because that’s the nature of humanity. We understand our mistakes, but is there ever an effort to learn from them, rather than constantly fall in the same trap. For I, Salen Auclair, it appears to be a trap that has forced me to question myself constantly, as I reap through the phantasms of my memory palace, travelling through the grave impressions, lead by my own thoughts, desires and creative principles.
It was exactly how the book I read would tell these theories of strange events in the mind; a book noting the prospects of the Kyrikaric Principle for each existence we travel through there always has to be balance. Of course, it is about balance, just as much as nature comes in pairs. Men and women, good and evil, right and wrong, order and chaos; these are the things which make our lives valuable in life for if we had no challenge or any form of reproductive matter, we would cease to exist. If I remember correctly, the prospect of Remnant was given to us by none other than the god of dreams himself, Kyrikain. He granted us our humanity and the ability to think, feel and philosophise events in his name.
But why did he give us these emotions of anxiety?
It all reflects the concept of balance and the things we must face in order for life to be fulfilling. There was no question that my life had been shitty from birth to now, but there has to be a reason for it. I question myself if it would ever get better or if we are living in a world conspired by the existence to co-exist? What if Atharen was just an hellish realm itself, designed to torture us and to make us think, feel and conspire against one another. For this, humanity is also a weapon, a great defiler of those who conspire against power, magic and other beings. It is no wonder that many of the mindscapes I visited made me question the megalomaniacal and distrustful nature of the Entente, but I am finally understanding.
It is power.
It is their philosophical ideology, made by their religion for if they were to remain pious, they must remain in the essence of high beauty and severe etiquette within some made-up law that they had decided to inflict upon their own kind. A law that has made a country deeply lawless, in other words, if there was no interaction with that particular law you were cast aside like dead farm cattle, taken to a slaughterhouse.
The fact is, there is a difference between law and justice and morality. Law and justice is a concept created to keep the enmasses in order, to create a divide between those who were actually good and those who manipulated the law to get their own way. Perhaps it is law that creates animosity, for it is only those who abide by it fairly who get trampled on, but there are different kinds of laws within the citizenship of other countries.
I’ve seen this phenomenon happen so many times, after watching a phantasmal replay of the events that occurred through my life with none other than Dahlia Senerite. She was a vicious and cruel woman who used the law to manipulate her own agendas and to bring ruin on her enemies who crossed her, including my lover Tiberius and many others who have crossed her path. The fact is, the effect of true narcissism comes in various forms and it would be hard to tell in an soiree full of Entente guests, since they all fit the psychological profile very well.
Including me.
However, I flaunt my looks in a subtle way, unlike Dahlia’s acquisition for power through doing favors for the big boys. I have a lot more self-respect for myself than she does. I’m sorry, coming from me that does sound bad, but it would take even the slightest reign of opportunity for her to drop her draws and beg for insatiable effort.
For me, it is effortless.
I reign people in naturally, for it is in my nature to remain as subtle and impartial as possible. After all, people are more likely to become attracted to a dark horse that they haven't seen before, especially if there was a reason to give them an ounce of pleasure, before I make their final coup de grace.
You can’t blame me for wanting to have a little fun with people, for it is their knowledge, their existence and everything about them that makes them a valuable source of weaponry in this an society run in immorality, decadence, sexual deviancy and bureaucracy as it is not what you know, it’s who and how information circulates around for if you knew the Montese, they may offer favors in exchange of rapport. However, I suppose that makes me some sort of hypocrite when I talk about the prospects of morality and philosophy.
If you can’t beat someone, it is best to join them in their game.
Eventually, it becomes the answer to toppling over such a corrupt system as I watch another replay of an engram from my current existence in how Dahlia would conform to society by being a valuable source of information. It is the question on how she used that information to secure a political hierarchy that I am missing.
However, I can learn that from other people next time I go through the Reverie; I’m sure there are minds out there who wouldn’t mind if I took a peak at their very existence.
After all, knowledge was power
Change comes from within.
