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Rekindle

Posted: Wed May 03, 2023 9:44 pm
by Hakon
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He was in a decripit basement with Heinrich. He was in the Tower by the stone steps leading up from the chapel with Vivian. He was also in the mud with Ajax, the only warmth and heat the Enkindled scimitar in the ground next to them as the mage whose heart he'd stabbed stared blankly ahead, dead.

Hakon's jaw set. Ajax would not join him.

He Engulfed the mage, his torch greedily gulping in the extra vitessence. It always hungered for more. No sooner than it had taken in the life force of the human than Hakon set to work, channeling vitessence to Ajax.

Usually, when he healed someone, the energy would pool in a particular location, and Hakon would know that to be the site of the most grievous wound. When he healed someone who had nothing in particular wrong with them, the energy would disperse and scatter, going to a variety of minor cuts, aches, scrapes, and pains. Rarely, though, there was a third pattern, where the vitessence would seem to be confused, being pulled this way and that by the recipient's body.

It was a bad sign. It meant that there was so much wrong that there was no set priority. That the body was so traumatized and so hurt that it didn't know what to do. It was a bad sign and it was happening now, to Ajax.

Hakon bit his cheek to prevent himself from saying anything aloud. If Ajax were watching him, he needed to feel reassured, not scared.

Then he directed the energy to where it needed to go, starting with the groove that the Pyromancer had torn in Ajax's chest. The boy was lucky that it had gone across his body and not through it, or he would have had a hole in his body, and that would have been that.

Lucky, thought Hakon bitterly, tasting blood and realizing he'd bit hard enough to fill his mouth with it. He spat it onto the dead mage. If he were lucky he never would have met me again.

He didn't let up on healing Ajax. The shining light connecting Ajax to his torch pulsed and strobed as it moved up and down the younger man's torso. Every fifteen breaths, Hakon would stop guiding the light, seeing if it would choose one place or another and using that to guide his decisions about where to heal next. He'd rebuilt Ajax's chest and much of his shoulder when is Torch guttered.

Hakon nodded to himself. He was out of vitessence. Of course he was. This was a grievous wound. Ajax would have been dead if he weren't an Engraver and he hadn't been near at hand. He still might die.

"Lad, I have to move you. We're going," Hakon paused, unsure, as he looked around the battlefield, because that's what had become of their camp.

Shriven flame fires still burnt in what had been their campfire. Their tent was gone, though the pyromancer's use of Exigency had left their bedrolls singed but intact when it pulled the flames from them.

"Stay here. Keep your eyes open and I'll be right back."

Hakon pulled the bedrolls close to the campfire. Normal fire could not be counted on to stay where it had been put, but shrivenflame was not normal fire, and with no Pyromancer to guide it, it would remain fixed in place for the next few days. It was blessedly warm in a place where the small hours of Glade felt like the worst Frost many people from the kingdoms further south had ever experienced.

"Be a good lad, I'm going to pick you up, okay?"

He ignored the burns covering his arms and put one brawny arm under Ajax's neck, the other under his knees, and then lifted him. There was nothing to him, Hakon thought, trying to suppress a shiver at that. Ajax had always been light. He wasn't easier to pick up because he was injured. Still, it was hard not to think about how frail he felt, how vulnerable.

Hakon's mouth filled with blood again, and he spat it on the fire this time.

Once he got Ajax settled on the bedroll, he conjured a star and used its sharp blade to cut him out of the tattered remains of his shirt. He didn't want it sticking in the edges of Ajax's enormous wound. He grabbed a clean shirt -- his own -- from his pack and lightly covered Ajax with it, and then covered the lad with all the blankets between the two of them. Then he crawled under with Ajax and wrapped his arms around the lad's waist.

Only then did he finish up the healing, transferring vitessence from his own body to Ajax.

"You're gonna have to-- to take care of me," Hakon said, staring at a fixed point as he drained his own life force.

A fever bloomed on his brow as his limbs started to feel leaden and cold. He coughed in the dry air, but he didn't stop. He couldn't stop, or Ajax would still die and there'd be no one to take care of the wreck he was making of himself. He urged himself to go deeper, stealing more and more himself: his vivacity, his agility, his quickness, his vitality. All of it went into the mess that the Pyromancer had made of Ajax's torso.

When he finished, Ajax was still quite hurt. Where there had been a groove carved to the bone through Ajax's torso, there was now an angry red mark as thick as three of Hakon's fingers, like a strap for a cross-body bag. If Hakon didn't feel like he were on death's door, he would have smiled. Even when Ajax got a scar, it was a stylish looking one.

"You're," Hakon said, trying to focus on the words, "you'll heal," he ground out.

This his head fell back and his arms slackened. Hakon was unconscious.



Re: Utility

Posted: Thu May 04, 2023 9:00 am
by Andros
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When Hakon healed Ajax after they trained, it felt pleasant. The light went inside him and one by one his aches and pains went away. It was over quickly and left him refreshed. This was very different.

Ajax had been in shock, but the vitessence knocked him out of his numbness. He was suddenly very aware of how much pain he was in. He could feel everything that was happening: when new tissue grew, when muscles reconnected, when ribs knit themselves back together. He didn’t scream, but only because he couldn’t. His lungs were working but no noise would come out of his throat.
Then the vitessence stopped and Hakon got up. Ajax reached with his left arm and touched his chest, feeling the gash still open. He let out a moan, finally able to make a sound. The moaning didn’t stop when Hakon picked him up and moved him. It only quieted when the vitessence hit him again. This time it was less awful. He felt the skin close and the pain finally dulled. His conscious brain began to work again, just a bit.

Hakon collapsed next to him when the work was done. Ajax knew what had happened. Hakon had drained his own life force to heal him. It was what Hakon owed him, but it was also self-sacrificing in Hakon’s characteristic way. He expected nothing less.

It took Ajax a good five or ten minutes before he could move. When he was able, he sat up and looked around. The campsite was on fire in places, lit by an eerie unnatural flame that made the night pleasantly warm but gave Ajax the creeps. They couldn’t stay there, obviously, but nor could they move until they’d both recovered their strength.

Once, twice, three times Ajax tried to stand up. Each time he fell back down in excruciating pain. The muscles in his core, usually strong, were all newly sewn up. Eventually he hit on the strategy of getting up on all fours, then onto his knees, then standing from that position. He was unsteady on his feet when he finally managed it, but able to move about.

The tent was a lost cause, obviously, but Ajax had fortunately packed most of their belongings in the saddlebags before he went to sleep. The horses, mercifully, were undisturbed. He’d hitched them to a tree a few yards up the road where there was some good fodder for them. They’d panicked and tried to bolt during the fight, but the ropes had kept them in place. It pays to be a good sailor who can tie a knot.
Out of the baggage, Ajax fetched a change of clothes for both of them, some dried meat, half a loaf of bread, and a few bandages his mother had insisted they pack. Finally he took a rag, soaked it in river water, and plodded slowly back to Hakon.

Sitting down on the ground next to him, Ajax felt overwhelmed by his emotions. There was deep affection there. Not romantic love, exactly, but felt an unbreakable bond with the mage. Hakon had taken a fireplace poker through the leg for Ajax, and now Ajax had been cut down by fire for Hakon. The circle was complete, the debt repaid. He was proud of himself, deeply proud. If this hadn’t proven to Hakon that he was a man - a trustworthy, capable man - nothing would do it.

Ajax leaned close to the mage and brushed the hair out of his face gently, holding his hand on Hakon’s cheek for a moment. Then he took the wet rag used it to wipe Hakon’s forehead, hoping the cool water would revive him.

“You’re alright, Hakon. I’m alright. It’s done. Wake up and eat something, you need your strength.”


Re: Utility

Posted: Thu May 04, 2023 11:45 pm
by Hakon
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Hakon opened a single bleary eye. he felt hot and sweaty despite the season, but the flush on his face and the ache in his muscles told him this was ague, not a sudden heat wave.

Ajax, with bread and meat. The lad was right. He did need to eat, even though he didn't feel like doing so. He didn't feel like doing anything.

The lack of vitessence in his system wasn't just making him lethargic and sick, it had drained the color from the world. He didn't feel hunger for the same reason that the heat registered as a fragment of a summer day instead of what he suspected was a raging fever. It was why he felt dull recognition seeing Ajax move about instead of the jubilation that he knew was in there. He'd taken too much from himself. He was going to be sick and phlegmatic for an indeterminate amount of time unless they could find someone for him to drain, and Hakon as a general rule did not steal vitessence from people unless they were trying to kill him or gave their explicit permission.

The only person around was Ajax, and he needed to keep his life energy in his body to fight off infection from the massive wound that he had just barely recovered from.

All of this meant that the next little while was going to be a struggle. He wondered if he should explain that to Ajax, but he didn't have the energy. Instead, he sat up and mutely took the bread, chewing it mechanically into paste. It tasted like sawdust, even though Hakon knew it was rather good in his normal state of mind.

When he'd demolished his provided portion like an inexorable tide, and followed it on with a proffered waterskin, he looked at Ajax.

"You were brave," he said dully. "When I'm recovered, I wish to thank you properly."

Re: Utility

Posted: Fri May 05, 2023 1:57 pm
by Andros
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It was a good long while that Ajax was in a daze. Perhaps the wild boar who walked through the camp and sniffed at the sleeping men could tell you how long exactly, but Ajax couldn’t. After the fight he and Hakon slept, then ate, then immediately went back to sleep. Ajax didn’t know for how long but it was dark when he went to sleep and dark again when he woke up.

Ajax lay awake until the sun rose, then finally roused himself. He had expected to feel better than he did. His wound still hurt a lot and was solidifying into what would be a very prominent scar. He wasn’t too upset about that. He got it fighting, not as a victim. It was a scar to be proud of. Or it would be when it stopped throbbing and radiating pain every time Ajax moved or took a deep breath.

Movement was tough in general. Ajax had very little energy and found himself winded and exhausted after just watering the horses and moving them to a new pasture. He had to sleep some more, then he tended to Hakon. There was very little Ajax was capable of doing for him while he was so out of it himself. He woke Hakon and fed him some of their remaining food, cleaned his wounds and reapplied the bandages, and let him go back to sleep. Hakon was a bad patient, harrumphing about everything and resistant to simple instructions. Ajax found it a bit endearing; the big hero whinging about drinking some water. Irritating, yes, but humanizing too.

He repeated that process twice over the course of that day, then awoke on the next feeling a lot more like himself. Still low energy and still in pain, but more alert. That’s when he noticed how poorly Hakon was doing. His wounds had started to ooze pus and turn different colors. He was hot to the touch, and much less awake than the day before.

There still wasn’t much Ajax could do for him, but now he did it with great care and increasing worry. He boiled river water and used it to clean Hakon’s wounds more thoroughly, then used his dagger to scrape away obviously rotten flesh. Hakon didn’t even protest, which seemed like a bad sign. Ajax wrapped him up tight in both of their blankets and let him sleep some more.

They were out of food, and that was the next priority. Fortunately the forest was full of life. Ajax collected a whole armful of crawfish from the river. It was much less work than hunting, and he could do the laborious prep work while sitting down. He boiled the squirming animals until they were nice and soft, then peeled a heaping bowl of them for Hakon, who probably wasn’t up for getting them out of the shell.

Getting him to eat took some work. Hakon never seemed to like seafood, and his injury brought out a childish attitude. Only the threat to tell Andros about what a baby he was being worked. Hakon swallowed the l boiled shellfish down with minimal further complaint, then went right back to sleep.

Ajax would like to have joined him in rest but he was too worried about his friend. He kept reaching over and holding a hand on Hakon’s chest to reassure himself that the mage was still breathing. When he finally fell asleep, he dreamt that Hakon was dead and he had to bury his body alone in the forest.

That was the dream he awoke from with a start to find Hakon standing up and calling his name.




Re: Utility

Posted: Sat May 06, 2023 12:46 am
by Hakon
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Stealing his own vitessence brought about tunnel vision, both literal and figurative. Colors muted and senses dulled. It was not unlike being back in the strange world Grave initiates found themselves in, but Hakon knew this one to be real. When he was conscious enough to think, he tried to communicate with Ajax, and tried to help the lad with the camp, but he couldn't muster the energy. It took all of his concentration to do things like accept a bowl of disgusting boiled mush or peeled river shrimp, to listen to Ajax's questions and answer them, or to relieve himself. Mostly, he slept.

If he could feel his emotions, he would have been scared. He assumed Ajax would do his best to care for him, but if he turned out to be too sick, they were quite far from civilization, and Ajax had no way of moving him. If he didn't heal, he'd die out here.

His fever broke an indeterminate amount of time later. He woke up with a start, suddenly cold and covered in flop sweat from the blankets Ajax had wrapped him in. He looked over to see him safe, asleep by the shriven flame fire that was still burning. So It had been less than three days, at least. Could have been worse.

He levered himself up with his arms, and groaned in pain. The burns on his arms were covered in clear pus, but the angry red edges told him they'd been infected recently, and had maybe been worse. Ajax had been successful in tending to him, then.

He sat up in kneeling position, assessing his current state. He had healing burns all over his body, with the worst ones concentrated on his shoulder where the Torrent that Ajax had diverted from had still bit him, his arms from some flaming javelins, and some miscellaneous burns on his chest and legs. He had a few cuts in and around the wounds, as well. They had been made after the battle, so Ajax must have done that. They'd been quite infected, then, and he'd been worse off than he'd thought.

Ajax was asleep nearby but sound asleep. Hakon looked at him fondly, then reached out and softly ruffled his pretty long hair. He'd been saved by Ajax twice: first when he took a blow meant for Hakon, then when Hakon had been too sick to heal himself. He wouldn't forget it.

He got to his feet, a laborious process that made his blood rush to his ears and caused an unpleasant throbbing behind his eyes, but he managed it. He walked slowly and haltingly to the river that had kept Ajax safe during their last battle, and stripped off so he could use a cloth to wash the sweat from his body. With this many open wounds, he knew better than to submerge himself in the river. Who knew what lurked in the waters; it would be just his luck if there was some kind of vicious crab that took slices out of his exposed flesh. And right now, Hakon thought sourly, he did not like his chances against much of anything. It was a wonder he was even alive.

He relieved himself, then came back to their camp. That had taken up almost all of his energy, but while he was still up, Ajax stirred, so Hakon thought he'd try to provide some reassurance.

"I should be better soon," he said. "I apologize if I worried you. I'll recover enough that I can heal myself in another day or two, so long as I don't get feverish again. Then we should be able to get a move on. I suppose we'll need to go to a town big enough that we can replenish our supplies."

Hakon sat down, though it was more of a controlled fall onto his seat. His body was telling him he was spent.

"Um. I apologized but also -- I need to thank you, Ajax. You saved me, quite bravely, too. Seems my squire has become a knight in his own right," Hakon joked, though it was clear he was being sincere.

Re: Utility

Posted: Sat May 06, 2023 11:05 am
by Andros
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Ajax was next to Hakon almost the second he woke up, filled with relief and joy. He wanted badly to hug him but where to find a place that didn’t have a cut or burn? He settled for wrapping his arms around Hakon’s torso below the shoulder and giving him a squeeze. He couldn’t keep a big doofy grin off his face.

“I didn’t know if you were going to make it through the night, Hakon. You were in a bad way yesterday. I’m so relieved I don’t even know what to do with myself. I was afraid to lose you, too”

Too The other man he’d lost, the one he’d added to Hakon in that sentence without intending to, was Baba. Hakon had moved into the category of people who were most important to him, like family. A few weeks earlier Hakon had beat him up completely unprovoked and Ajax had hated and feared him. It was amazing how the adventures they’d had had changed him. And Hakon too. He’d shown himself to be a real friend.

Ajax stood up and found it much easier than he had the day before. The throbbing pain in his wound was down to a sting, and he could move without all the new skin and muscle crying out in protest. He stretched out, enjoying it, energetic and alive. He felt different, almost like he was a little taller. For the first time in his life he’d done something heroic. He jumped into a fight with a dangerous man to save his friend and he had the scar to prove it. He wasn’t just a sneaky, sex-addled boy anymore. He was a sneaky, sex-addled, brave, loyal man and that was something to be proud of.
“Don’t apologize,” Ajax replied. “I know you’re only in this shape because you used your own vitescence to heal me. You’re a good friend, Hakon Osthswicksteppen.”

He preened at the praise. It meant more coming from Hakon than anyone else. Not that he wouldn’t boast to his family and friends when he got home.

“I did alright. Can’t have my buddy getting set on fire now, can I?” he joked, making light of it.

“Now, strip off those clothes so I can wash them. I’ll bring you a change and then you need to rest. Sleep if you can. I’m going to care for the horses and then rustle up some food. Don’t worry, I’ll try for a rabbit or another bird before I resort to forcing more crawfish on you.”
He laughed gently at the memory of Hakon whining about his dinner as he turned and walked away to begin his work.




Re: Utility

Posted: Sat May 06, 2023 9:31 pm
by Hakon
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Hakon nodded, relieved to hear that their dinner would be coming from the land and not the water. He found fish to be acceptable, but the wrigglier, many legged denizens of the waters were in another category, as far as he was concerned. He could already tell that Ajax was not going to let go of this, so he resolved to try and not be bothered by it. He had still eaten it, after all. It was okay to have preferences, so long as Ajax had not felt insulted.

He looked at Ajax, then. Had he insulted him? He was from a place that ate a lot of seafood. Was Hakon's distaste for it seen as unacceptable or rude? He knew he could ask Ajax but he wished he just understood matters like these. Other people seemed to have little issue discerning when something was a joke or a gentle rebuke. Hakon, though, struggled with such things.

He stripped down obediently, and was asleep almost immediately.

The next time he awoke, he felt stronger, well enough to see to his belongings and assess them. The shirt he'd been wearing during the ambush had been ruined, and Ajax had washed his trousers but they were rather mangled. Someone who was good at mending could probably give them a second life, though, so Hakon resolve to keep them and donate them to the tower. If nothing else, it took a lot of cloth to clothe him, and they could be converted into bandages or something if someone had no other use for them.

The sunderscrap was nestled in his bag. Ajax must have put it there, and it made Hakon feel well understood that the lad had found the stone and secured it for him when he'd been too incapacitated to do anything. It felt good to have the two scraps in the bag together. He'd need to secure a few more, of course, but he was making decent time on his seasonal tithe. They sparkled together, the two stones. He took them out and smiled at how they looked in the light before realizing that Ajax might be nearby and taking a guilty look around.

Ajax was by the fire, cooking. If the lad had seen him do it, he didn't look perturbed. Hakon put them back where they belonged, a more customary neutral expression sliding into place.

After a decent dinner and a good long rest, he woke up and saw the world as it should be for the first time since the ambush. He was back to his full strength, then. He had a niggling feeling that he might have overdone it, and that there could be consequences if this happened too many more times without allowing his body some time to rest from etheric overreach. For now, though, he used the excess vitessence his body had generated to quell the tail end of the infections that had taken up in his wounds. If he were a bit less vivacious because of it, well, it was better to be deadened to the world than dead.

He helped Ajax break their camp and make their way through the deserted mountain path to the village on the other end. Originally, he'd planned on just resupplying there, but with their tent gone, Hakon knew that they needed to get to a town to restock, so with directions from the local brewer, they went off his set course to a town about a day's ride away.

The brewer had implied that it was nothing special, but to Hakon, it was perfect. A Northradican town with the steep pitched roofs, small windows, and thick solid walls of stone and wood that he remembered from his youth. It even had a public house with rooms for rent, and when Ajax uncharacteristically insisted that they rent the nicest room with the biggest bed, Hakon thought nothing of it. The lad had been through a lot. If he wanted a bit of comfort, Hakon wasn't going to argue.

It was only when he got into the room that he saw the bed, singular, that he wondered if Ajax was trying to tell him something. Probably not, but... maybe? He'd told Ajax to be very clear with him if he were interested, and the lad had not, so probably they would just share the bed as they'd shared the bedroll in the wilds.

Still, Hakon found himself wondering. Ajax was out without him doing the shopping, something he was much better at than a Guildmage who had little use for or understanding of money, and therefore little understanding of how to haggle. Instead, he allowed himself to get acquainted with their bed. He was on the mend, now, nearly five days after the attack, but he still found himself quite fatigued. When Ajax returned with their new provisions and possessions and recommended they go downstairs for dinner, Hakon had to bite back a request that they take their meal in their room.

Ajax needed an evening with song and appreciative strangers, he was pretty sure, and Hakon would not deny him this. So he simply nodded, put his clothes on, and followed the younger man downstairs to the main floor of the tavern.




Re: Utility

Posted: Sun May 07, 2023 8:06 am
by Andros
Image

Hakon had been subdued since he recovered, which was reasonable enough given what he’d been through. Ajax knew his friend well enough to know he didn’t want to make idle conversation, so he allowed them to ride to town in relative silence. The truth was that Ajax was worn out too. His store of energy for filling the air with chatter was drained.

Ajax was almost as relieved as Hakon to arrive in town. Almost. After roughing it with him for a few days on either side of the fight, Ajax was surprised to find that he seemed better equipped for spartan conditions than the trained warrior. Back in Oxentide, Hakon had made some nasty comments about how Ajax had better not complain about bad food and sleeping on the ground. In reality, Hakon turned out to be the picky eater who muttered about rocks under his bedroll.

Still, a comfortable bed and decent food would be appreciated. And more than that, a chance to relax and let off some steam. That’s what Ajax needed the most. That’s why he insisted that they get the best room in the inn. It was really something, with an enormous bed, a couch, and a table and chairs . They could get good and drunk downstairs, then lounge around in the room the next day and just take it easy. He didn’t care that it was just one bed - they’d been sleeping side by side for days and Ajax had had no trouble keeping his hands to himself. Why would this night be different from all the other nights?

The tavern on the main floor of the inn was quite lively. Clearly the place attracted locals as well as travelers. Two men made eyes at him as he walked in and one of them actually came up to their table and offered to buy him a drink. He turned it down. He’d love to flirt but it seemed mean to do it in front of Hakon. That was new.

Hakon ordered for them, mead and bread and roast meat, and asked for an instrument to be brought if there was one. Clearly he wanted Ajax to have a good time, which was sweet. Ajax fully intended to get sloshed and sing and enjoy himself too, but he wanted to clear the air first.

“Hakon,” he said quietly. “I keep seeing you checking your sunderstones. You have to know I’m not going to steal them from you, right? It thought we’d be past that after, you know, everything.”







Re: Rekindle

Posted: Sun May 07, 2023 2:33 pm
by Hakon
Image

Hakon winced at the question, but it was a fair one.

"No, lad, I don't think you're going to lift the stones off of me," Hakon averred.

He fell silent, then, and concentrated on drinking the mead. To him, it was Northradican, which meant it was excellent. Everything in this part of the world called to him. It felt like home in a way that Jorikford had never quite managed, even though he'd spent the vast majority of his life in the kingdom to the south.

"I like looking at them," he admitted. "I think they're beautiful, and I like holding them, too. It makes me feel..." he groped for the word. How did it make him feel?

"Good," he finished with a frustrated huff. "And it reminds me of what I'm capable of, which is a good feeling after such a close call."

He quaffed the rest of his mead, and looked at Ajax. With the collar of his shirt up, the scar was not visible, but Hakon could imagine it quite clearly. He'd been tracing the line with his eyes for the last few days.

"Your scar looks good on you," Hakon said, tipsy enough that he didn't care about how blunt he was being. "I can get you a necrodoctor to make it smaller or get rid of it for you, if we go to a Tower, but I think you should keep it the way it is. It's proof that you're a brave man."

Re: Rekindle

Posted: Sun May 07, 2023 10:17 pm
by Andros
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It wouldn’t be nice to say that Ajax purred like a cat when Hakon called him brave and said he looked good with his scar. That would be insulting and make Ajax sound like an egotistical child who was absolutely desperate for Hakon’s approval. But it wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate to say it either.

“Oh, Hakon,” Ajax replied with a smile, putting a hand on his friend’s forearm. “That’s such a nice thing to hear, especially from you. After all the times I’ve seen you rush into danger like it was nothing, if you think I’m brave that’s,” he paused, tongue tied, “that’s wonderful.”

He pulled up his shirt to expose his belly and look at the scar, not caring that he was giving a bit of a show.

“I had the same thought about the scar. Sorry to boast, but it looks hot. I love it and I wouldn’t part with it. I’m really proud of it actually. When I went to the baths earlier I had three people ask me where I got it and I could tell the whole story - didn’t have to embellish either. I’ll be dining out on this one for the rest of my life”

He took his hand off Hakon, not wanting to send the wrong message, then downed a deep draught of his drink. He was relieved that Hakon wasn’t suspicious about his sunderstones, pleased by the compliment, invigorated by the lively atmosphere, and refreshed by the hearty meal after a lean week. Ajax was a ball of positive emotions.

The barkeep brought out a lyre after they were done eating, not Ajax’s favorite but he could handle it well enough. “You pick a song, Hakon. Something you can sing with me. You deserve to cut loose a bit too.”