Semiotics

[Hakon]

Were these signals? There was touching, Ajax was showing off his body, he was smiling, he was leaning close to Hakon.... These were signs. Weren't they?

Somewhat notoriously dense, Hakon usually did not catch on to someone's interest unless they told him so. He'd said as much to Ajax earlier in their journey. Since saying that, however, the two had grown close, closer than Hakon had ever been with someone he found suitable. The rules of engagement changed between two people as they grew closer; Hakon was sure of this. Guildmages who were quite close, for instance, did not address one another by title, but rather by name. Sometimes, even, there were nicknames. That was against the official rules, but everyone seemed to understand that there were multiple, overlapping sets of rules and deployed them as native speakers of a language Hakon felt like he knew the words of, but not the grammar or the syntax.

When Ajax asked Hakon to pick a song, Hakon obliged, selecting a song that was fun for a tavern of people to sing and was a decent key for him as a baritone with a suboptimal range: Sir Johan's Ride. The fact that it was also a somewhat merry, bawdy song, which made it in turn an uncharacteristic pick for him, well, so much the better. He was showing Ajax he'd changed.

That had been the trouble before, right? They had not been right for one another. Ajax had changed, though, that much was clear. He had become brave, and strong, and kind. Hakon would show the man that he'd changed, too.

As Ajax strummed the opening chords, Hakon gameyl sang along. It was not a great pick for the start of an evening -- it was a better sung once everyone was a bit drunk -- but the crowd was willing enough to sing along and laugh at the corny double entendres about how good Sir Johan did when he was riding, and Ajax altered the verse structure to be less about Sir Johan's lady love and more about his brother-in-arms, which scandalized some of the older folks in the tavern enough to pay attention and made the younger ones laugh.

As they sang, Hakon looked at Ajax, and wondered: was that a sign?

[Andros]

What a fun choice, Ajax thought. Ser Johan was a great song. Everybody here knew it, and you never had to sing it the same way twice. It was rather surprising coming from Hakon, of course. Stories of knights were right up his alley (a turn of phrase Ajax would use to raucous laughter in this rendition of the ballad), but not silly, bawdy things.

Maybe this was a sign, he wondered. Maybe Hakon wanted to say that now that Ajax had proved himself, Hakon could accept him as he is: fun-loving and flirty and not too serious, but still a man to be treated as an equal. If it was meant that way, Ajax was very pleased with it.

Ajax also wondered if Hakon knew this was a favorite song on Mikronisi, one you’d hear whistled in the pasture and hummed on the beach on a daily basis. Every man above 30 remembered the day Fell first sang it in what was literally a magical performance. It remained a staple of Men’s House sing-alongs ever after, and even the children had their own versions of it. Ajax got in a fair amount of trouble for a rendition that heavily implied one of his older cousins was having an affair with a sheep (a suspicion later proven correct).

For Hakon, Ajax added a special twist to the tale. Naturally, all of Ajax’s versions of the song were emphatically, explicitly, and sometimes graphically homoerotic if he thought the audience could handle it. On that night, he made the knight’s male companion Karl lithe and beautiful rather than big and strong. And Johan wasn’t the one doing the riding.

Instead, though it took some work adjusting the rhyme scheme, the knight “laid on his back and searched the night sky for a sign from above” while Karl was riding that horse long and hard and very enthusiastically. And yet somehow, after all that laying on the ground, it was Johan who found himself spent and while Karl who wanted another ride after another glass of wine.

These additions were accompanied by a fair amount of smirking at Hakon, who, dense as he was, surely remembered their first night together - his first time - as vividly as Ajax did. Ajax was taking his teasing up to a new level, but hopefully the new, more accepting Hakon could handle it.

Ajax was standing next to his table holding the lyre and basking in the applause of the crowd when he felt something unexpected. A hand reached up the back of his tunic and squeezed his ass, hard. He whipped his head around to find it was the man who’d offered him a drink. He didn’t object to a direct approach, but this was much too much. He tried to squirm away but the man grinned at him and wrapped an arm around his chest.
“Hey, get your hands off me,” he said, loudly enough for those nearby to hear.

The brute just laughed at him. “You can ride this horse as long and hard as you like, boy, and he wont’ tire out.”

Ajax could smell hard liquor on his breath. He was drunk and scary and Ajax hated it. But he wasn’t alone tonight.

“Hakon,” he said, giving the mage a plaintive look, “a little help?”

[Hakon]

Hakon's hand had tightened around the mug he was holding when he saw the man feel up Ajax. His jaw clenched and he wanted nothing more than to tell him off -- but that wasn't right. Ajax was his own man. Hakon wasn't in charge of Ajax outside of combat situations and he didn't own him. If the lad wanted to have some fun with someone who was rather forward, well, that was his business.

Until Ajax turned to Hakon for assistance and made it his business, whereupon Hakon immediately stood up and looked down at the other man, who was an approximate midpoint in build between him and Ajax. Just as he had probably sized up Ajax as a pretty harmless little thing, now he was sizing up Hakon and coming to a very different conclusion.

Hakon interposed himself between the two of them, tugging Ajax behind him so that he couldn't be grabbed again. Then he stared the other man down, who looked momentarily intimidated. Hakon wasn't fooled into thinking this was over, though. There were a lot of eyes on him in this bar and he was perhaps a regular, the sort of person who cared about his reputation to the other patrons here.

"Oh, big man," the villager said. "So brave to stand up for your little friend," he said in a tone that was so sarcastic Hakon picked up on it.

"So brave of you to force yourself on someone you think is too weak to resist you," Hakon retorted. "And so gracious of you to handle his rejection by making a scene. He's not interested in riding you. Why don't you go sit back down?"

He wondered if Ajax would be proud of him for trying to defuse the situation instead of immediately resorting to violence. His blood was singing in his ears. He really, really wanted to punch the man, for a start. Teach him a proper lesson.

But this was not permissible. The man had made an advance, and it had been rejected. That didn't call for removing his hand at the wrist even though Hakon had briefly fantasized about doing so. Ajax didn't belong to him and even if he did, he was his own person and not made of spun glass. He could handle a bit of rough treatment.

Muttering a bunch of unflattering words that he couldn't quite hear, the man returned to his seat. Hakon looked to Ajax.

"Are you alright, lad? If you want me to lay him out, say so. I can get in there with a 'what did you just call me' and restart the fight, if you wish. I just didn't want to make this evening about fighting -- it's supposed to be about stuff you like, like music."

[Andros]

“You’re really something, Hakon,” Ajax said with a smile as he took his seat and patted Hakon on the arm.

He could have handled that himself if he’d been alone. The bar was crowded and he’d made himself popular by leading the patrons in song. If he had really feared violence, a shout would have been answered with assistance. Alternatively, he could have flattered the man with some attention, allowed him to foot the bill for a few drinks, and then found a way to disengage later. Pretending to go “get freshened up for you, big boy,” and then simply leaving would have done the trick. He’d done it a hundred times.

But he didn’t have to do any of that, because he had Hakon with him. Hakon, who protected him without even a second of hesitation and then deescalated the situation because he knew Ajax would want to avoid violence. He saw the rage written on Hakon’s face and in the throbbing veins in his arms. He knew the mage would like nothing more than to teach the handsy idiot a lesson, but he didn’t. That was respect right there.

“Thanks for getting him off me. And thanks for asking - no, I’m pretty sure he’ll leave us alone. Not that he doesn’t deserve a broken nose, but better to avoid it since we can. His kind is all talk. I get a lot of that, though usually they’re a little more subtle than that. Ride that horse all night long indeed. I can’t decide if he smelled more like booze or pig shit. What a jackass.”

His smile faded and he got serious for a moment.

“You, on the other hand, are not a jackass. You have been nothing but nice to me since we started this trip. You’re a real gentleman, Hakon. Don’t think I don’t notice it. I’m really glad I agreed to this expedition and we could get to know one another better, even with, you know, all the fighting and getting sliced into pieces and everything.”

That was enough of that. Ajax wouldn’t let that creep derail the night. They deserved their night off and and god damn it they were going have some fun. He made eye contact with the barman and signaled for another round to be brought over. Soon he would take up his lyre again and ask the crowd for requests. But first he toasted with Hakon and gave him a wink.

“How many of these do you have to drink before you’ll dance with me? That’s how many you’re going to have, mark my words.”

[Hakon]

"I don't dance," Hakon said. Ajax looked disappointed.

"So probably a lot," he amended, and that seemed to cheer the lad back up.

Dancing was odd to Hakon. It was like a genteel, gentle version of sparring. He enjoyed the ritualistic aspect of it-- the way everyone had steps to follow, the pattern of it, how it moved in a round. It was all of the stuff surrounding dancing, however, that he found intolerable: finding people to dance with, asking people to dance and making polite conversation. He wanted to dance, not engage in repartee. He could do it, but it seemed like rather a lot of work when the end result was a box waltz or a ring dance.

So they drank, and then a round arrived from the barman with a little nod of thanks for not making a scene when the lout had tried his luck with Ajax, and then a third round arrived as thanks for Ajax's turn on the lute, and then Hakon began to lose track. He felt warm, and he couldn't stop looking at Ajax. He had always been a pretty boy, but the addition of some actual muscle, a bit of stubble, and the big scar -- Hakon couldn't see it, but he couldn't stop thinking about it -- made him downright irresistible. So it was that after Ajax played another suite of songs -- ballads, this time, requested by a sweet young lady who kept giving significant looks to her companion across from her -- Ajax handed off his lute to someone who was less capable but no less game and Hakon held his hand out.

"Dance with me?" He asked.

Even though it had been Ajax's idea, he was nervous to ask.

[Andros]

Ajax had been kidding about making Hakon dance. It would be cruel to ask someone so tightly wound to cut loose on the dance floor. It would be like, well just like asking a devoted sunderer whose hobby is murder and who has no idea how to relax to dance with you. That’s what it would be like.

But there Hakon was, bravely holding out his hand and doing the asking. Ajax was so surprised and delighted that he clapped his hands together and giggled. Not manly, but it was his genuine reaction. He was reasonably drunk, though less so than Hakon, so there was some excuse for his girlish behavior.

Ajax beamed up at Hakon as he took his hold of a paw and led him towards a clear area where two pairs were already dancing. The new musician was decent enough. He’d started up a reel Ajax hadn’t heard before. It must be local because the crowd cheered and started clapping their hands in time with the beat.

Hakon’s expression was impenetrable. Was he excited? Terrified? Ajax couldn’t guess. He began to dance along with the moderate tempo, stepping from foot to foot and moving his body. Hakon didn’t move, rooted to the spot. He swayed in a barely perceptible fashion, no more. Ajax took Hakon’s hands and put them on his own shoulders, then put a hand gently on Hakon’s wasit. He stood up on his tiptoes to whisper some guidance.

“I am a dangerous iconoclast and you are a guard escorting me to trial. If you don’t keep your hands on me, I’ll escape custody and go off to commit more crimes against the people of Northradica. If I make it off the dance floor, I’ll…I’ll drain everybody’s vitessence in the whole bar. So keep your hands on me and block me from getting out.”

It didn’t work immediately. Ajax took a step to his left and Hakon stood stock still, letting his hands fall off of Ajax’s shoulders. Ajax moved back into position and put Hakon’s hands where they belonged.

“You let your man get away. Come on, you’ve got to move with me. Do your duty, Magus!”

He moved to the left again and this time Hakon moved with him. Then back to the right and Hakon followed. Then again a few more times, now in time with the music. He risked taking a step back and Hakon followed again, getting the hang of it. Then a step forward, which Hakon didn’t see coming because he walked right into the brick wall that was Hakon’s chest. A brick wall that was warm and smelled good and felt incredible and made him a bit lightheaded. Ajax didn’t step away, but instead wrapped his arms around Hakon’s waist, or as much of it as it he could and then began to move again, holding Hakon close.

[Hakon]

He hadn't expected Ajax to be so happy to be asked. That alone made it worth it. Making the lad smile made him feel... something. Warm. Good. Hakon wasn't adept at identifying emotions, but this was a positive one, and he knew it as one he wanted to hold on to.

The dance itself was not one he knew, as it turned out. Maybe there were different ones in Northradica than there were in Jorikford, or maybe the fashions of it changed rapidly, or both. Hakon wasn't entirely sure. He hadn't danced in a long time. Dancing was generally done in a large, crowded room in the Tower, and if there were that many people from the Tower in attendance, Hakon was unlikely to be interested. He had mostly tried as an adolescent in the way that he had tried many things as an adolescent: out of a pull to endeavor to like what everyone else around him seemed to like. It hadn't worked out, though. After a few dances, it just hadn't clicked, and he'd gone back to his preferred leisure of solitary hobbies.

So it was that he found himself in the embarrassing position of being taught something by Ajax, but the lad was not a terrible teacher. He was warm and kind, at least, if not overly patient or good at explaining the steps -- he just led by example, which was fine. Hakon had a lot of practice with forms and movement, just not applied in this manner. He caught on decently quick, and when Ajax pulled in close to him and then didn't back away, he didn't object.

It felt really nice, actually, to hold him like this. Better than he'd expected.

When the song ended, there seemed to be some expectation that they were to pull apart and rotate partners. Ajax looked at him, expression unreadable, before Hakon found himself dancing with a woman about Ajax's height but with rather more heft to her. Her steps were faster than Ajax's, and she seemed to tolerate that he didn't know what he was doing. He didn't try and hold her close, though, because he wasn't sure if that was appropriate.

The partner change seemed to happen quicker this time, but Hakon wasn't sure if time had just passed slower with Ajax or if the song were longer. He was too drunk to really be paying close attention. His partner in this case was to be a very small slip of a girl, and he found himself stooping a bit to try and hold her properly. She seemed to think it was funny, and then tapped Ajax on the shoulder, a clear indication that she wanted to switch.

Hakon felt himself go red and tried not to feel mortified. He knew he wasn't the best at this, but was he that bad? The woman whispered something in Ajax's ear and laughed. Hakon was successful in holding his temper.

He didn't know her. It didn't matter what she was saying. What mattered was Ajax.

They finished out the set just dancing as they had for the first song, with Ajax showing him what to do and Hakon mostly keeping up, and he started having fun again. Still, he was rather glad when the music stopped and he could sit down again. There wasn't much in the way of physical exertion with dancing, not compared to what he did every day, but something about leading, about doing the steps, about making sure his partner was taken care of -- the combination of all it was quite taxing.

"You wanna stay down here some more, or go up to our room?" He asked Ajax, drunk enough that words slurred together a bit.

The combination of being rather inebriated and fresh off of some mild exertion had him flushed and smiling and he was finding himself wanting to monopolize Ajax's time for the remainder of the evening.

[Andros]

You wanna stay down here some more, or go up to our room? Something in Hakon’s question gave Ajax a moment’s pause. He’d heard enough requests to “take this party elsewhere,” to “come see my bedroom” or to “find somewhere more private” not to hear that as a come-on. Maybe? No. Probably not. Not from Hakon. From Hakon, a come-on would arrive in the format of a marriage proposal, and Ajax would turn it down.

Hakon must just have had enough of the crowd. He wanted to relax upstairs, which was reasonable enough. He’d seemed happy when the two men were dancing together but miserable when they had to switch partners. Ajax hadn’t anticipated anyone would want to cut in and felt a little bad for dragging Hakon into it.

He didn’t mind the added company himself. His dance partners had all been skilled and lively. One made a rather filthy joke about him and Hakon and what exactly she could do better than the big boy, which made Ajax laugh and added a bit of levity to his step. And then he got to dance with Hakon at the end. It was an enjoyable experience.

But maybe less so for Hakon, who although he had a smile on his face now wanted the party to be over. Reasonable enough. Ajax wasn’t there to torture the mage, so he agreed. First, though, he went up to the bar and ordered a small quantity of whisky and two glasses to take upstairs. He wasn’t quite done, though Hakon ought to be wrapping it up if he didn’t want a miserable morning.

When they arrived he found that he, like Hakon, was a little relieved. They were both recovering from serious injuries and should be taking it easy. He peeled off his shoes and stripped down to a thin tunic and his underwear. Much better that way. He poured himself a drink and sat down on the big, soft couch with his feet up on an ottoman.

“Bit more comfortable than our last campsite, no?” Ajax said as he settled in. The couch was so thickly padded it felt like it was giving him a hug. He was extremely relaxed and very pleasantly drunk, but not too far gone.

“You’ll have to get your own boots off, Magus. Your squire is off duty and may never get off this couch. Come keep me company.”

[Hakon]

Hakon sat on the edge of the bed -- big enough that, remarkably, his feet didn't hang off if he slept on it diagonally -- and put his hands on his laces. An impulsive drunken though came to him, an urge to lie and feign weakness. To pretend he couldn't get his shoes off, or to stumble and fumble with them until maybe Ajax would kneel in front of him and help him. Mostly, he just wanted Ajax closer than he was, though part of him wanted Ajax kneeling in front of him quite a bit, and that part was quite insistent.

He didn't do it, though. Drunk or no, Hakon had decades of practice at self-restraint, and while being drunk made these impulses rise up more, it was no great hardship to tear them down.

He unlaced his boots and pulled them off, making two deliberate thuds. He stripped down until he matched Ajax, then joined the boy on the couch, putting one arm around the back of the couch, casually. Or in a casual manner. The sort of way someone might do it if they didn't notice, the kind of nonchalance, the kind of sprezzatura that his Gentavarese and court manners teacher had instilled within him. He wasn't being himself, he was being his impression of a Daravinian noble.

It was weird to talk in Common while he was being his Daravinian alter ego, but he managed it with a bit of the nasal accent leaking through momentarily.

"It was a good evening, Ajax. I think, with you, I have more fun." Hakon smiled, then frowned as he lost the plot. What was he saying? "'m glad you're with me. This was a good idea. You gotta lotta those."

This time, he failed to restrain himself. The arm along the back of the couch wrapped Ajax in a one-armed embrace as he brought his lips to Ajax's. Their first kiss since being reunited.

[Andros]

Ajax saw it coming. Hakon was being weird, which was really saying something for him. He spoke strangely and he sat wrong, somehow. Ajax didn’t know you could sit wrong, but Hakon did it. He tried to look casual, but he couldn’t quite get it right and to someone who knew him well, it was just off. Ajax steeled himself for the expected awkward, fumbling kiss. He’d pull away and turn Hakon down and hope the man didn’t break down and cry.

Then the kiss came and Ajax realized he was in over his head. It wasn’t awkward. It was wonderful. Hakon felt great and he tasted better and Ajax kissed him back eagerly, unwilling and unable to stop himself. He had a lot of reactions simultaneously. There was arousal, obviously; excitement; and pride that he had tempted Hakon without intending too.

And there was something new. Something unexpected. Ajax felt a feeling. A real, honest to goodness feeling for the man he was with. He cared for Hakon - as if that wasn’t obvious from the wound he took to save him. He wanted the best for Hakon, wanted to make him happy and take care of him and protect him and be protected by him. God help him, he even liked taking off his boots at the end of the day and all the other little domestic things he did to make Hakon’s life easier. And no, it wasn’t a foot thing.


Was it love? Ajax didn’t know. Usually when he was with a man he was thinking about what he can get out of the interaction. Pleasure, validation, gifts, flattery, dinner. But not with Hakon. Not this time anyway. Even with Jan he was faking it, trying to conjure feelings that weren’t there. He just didn’t realize it until now.

Ajax really didn’t want to break off that kiss. But he had to. There was the other side of Hakon. The dangerous gentleman had a sting, and Ajax needed some promises about how he would behave before they hopped into bed. He had no illusions that it would be a quick hookup to relieve tension and then they’d forget about it. No, this was the real deal and Ajax wouldn’t enter into it lightly.

So Ajax rejected Hakon. Very gently, aiming to make him feel like he wasn’t being turned down at all. He pulled away from the kiss and smiled at his man. (And he did feel possessive about Hakon, for what it’s worth, though he didn’t understand it.) Taking Hakon’s hands in his own, he spoke to him quietly.

“Not tonight Hakon. We need to talk first and you’re too drunk.”

He leaned in close to whisper in Hakon’s ear and put a hand on his chest at the same time.

“But when I am through with you, you won’t remember your own name. It will be even better than last time, my handsome knight. That’s a promise.”

Then he stood up and got off the couch. If he hadn’t, his self control would have broken and it would have been straight to bed for both of them. As it was, he thought he’d done a good job.

“Now, go drink a few big cups of water so you’re not hungover in the morning, wash your face, and come to bed. We’ll sleep, and in the morning we’ll talk.”

He didn’t want to leave it there. That wasn’t right. There was more to say.

“I’m really happy, Hakon. I’m glad you did that. When you come to bed, will you…will you hold me again? I love it when you do that. It’s funny, with other boys it just irritates me but with you I could just live there.”